Fuck the world...

Thinking sucks! I was supposed to win powerball the other day so I could have 365 million dollars and not have to think or work again but I guess that didn't happen. I checked my tickets today and all I got was a hole in my pants, no not in my wallet but in my pants. HB ripped my pocket where I keep my wallet as I was heading out the door to come to my other job and now I sit here with a huge hole in my ass, good thing I wear boxers, if I wore whity tighties skid marks may be showing. I really wanted that money, Friday I was going through everything I was gonna do with it in my head. I really don't want to be here today, I may not stay as late as I wanted. I wish I could just kept the hours I had before, I was happy, my routine was set and I'd been doing it for so long. I like the fact that I can spend more time with HB every other week, but I hate the fact that I'm not putting in the hours I am used to. I don't actually NEED this money anymore, since like I said on the first I should be completely out of credit card debt and the only thing I really need to pay will be my car and perhaps I can start paying more on that. I want to save money. I want to have a big ass nest egg, I never have had one before. It's hard having money in my bank account, I wanna go out and buy shit that I don't need. I was thinking about quitting this job but this is where I need to work when I get out. I need to go to school, Hell I need to figure out what I want to do. If I won the lottery I was gonna go to school and probably start a construction company. I miss doing that, it was fun. And if we ended up in Texas there would be work year round. No worries about winter. I could build houses, and when I didn't feel like working I would have to, perks of being a boss and owning your own company. But I didn't win I sit here making my ends meet, though not really happily. I get too bored working. Though the military had taught me the discipline to continue working even though I'm not happy, the thought is still in my mind like before, when I'm not happy I don't go to work and then I get fired or quit. It seems I never want to go to work anymore, I'm tired of it. I want to retire. Perhaps I can figure out how to use the Navy's money when I get out to go to school and have them send me a check while I work part time still. But then I'll get bored with school and I'll be right back in the same place. I don't know why I've been feeling down lately. Perhaps it's because I'm 23 and am still not sure what I want to do for the rest of my life, or what I want to be when I "grow up". I will probably keep doing what I'm doing with radioactive shit just because it's easy and good money. Though schooling is gonna be hard because they want me to understand everything. But I've already been doing it for almost 4years now, 2 different jobs and know that there really isn't any reason to understand it. I vaguely remember shit from school that I had a feeling I would never use again, and have been right thus far. Who knows. I just want to sleep for maybe a year or so. I could set my body on autopilot and see where I am when I wake up and just go from there. All the decisions can be made for me. I don't want to deal with them. I hate making decisions. How can I choose when I don't know what I want, when I really don't care. All I know is that I need to make money, that's what we're programmed to do. We have to pick something so we can make money and live and buy the stuff we need and want. Fuck money and fuck working. I just want to sit here and not do a god damn thing but scratch my ass through the hole in my pants. I just want to leave. Go off sit in the middle of the woods and fucking scream until my throat bleeds at this whole fucking world and myself for being a part of it. I am one of the cogs that keeps everything moving and I hate myself for that. I wish there was a way to rebel and change this but there isn't the world is happy in its routine, there a far to many of them and only one of me. If I refuse to work, think that if one cog stops the rest will fall, you are wrong, you will be replaced. I have no idea where I am going with this and frankly I don't care. I'm hungry I think I'm gonna leave now and go feed the machine my money some more. why fight it, there is no way to win. I'm too tired to even try, I just wanna sleep.

I'm mad about MADD

I finally got to go to the MADD meeting. It sucked balls. I pull up to the place and the line looked like a sold out show at the black cat, actually longer for getting there early. There was no parking, they expected us to park in a garage 3 blocks away, I parked illegally 2 blocks away. SO I waited in line and we slowly made our way into the place. There was probably 100-150 people there, $30 a person, they make pretty good money. There were all sorts of characters there. Crack heads with messed up teeth, business men and women in suits, thugs, wierdos, and then me. I walk in and unconciously say in the middle of a group of latino's(I still want to call them mexicans, thats what I'm used to, brownies are mexican, but no HB says their not, most were probably El Salvadorean but still) So they were all speaking spanish and I was trying my hardest to pick out the words that I knew and tried to understand what they were saying. But all I really heard was que, como, different numbers and shit. It's hard, they don't breath when they talk. It's all in one breath and each word runs together with the others. We need to stop having all these different lanuages, the US and other English speaking countries just need to put our foot down and say "HEY! Your all gonna speak English now, all other lanuages are extinct. Anyone who disabeys will be killed!" I think it will help us reduce the over populated earth and in the long run help us preserve our natural resources. But we didn't even listen to any MADD it was a FADD, Well towards the end of him talking my contact was bothering me so I rubbed it, and it decided it didn't want rubbed so it folded up and ran up in my eyelid. SO I'm sitting there crying and sniffling. I get up and went to the bathroom and was trying to dig it out. I leaned against the sink trying to look in the mirror to find it. The counter was wet, I ended up getting a big wet spot right on my crotch. SO not only did it appear I was crying out there but now I peed my pants. SO I put my contact back and rubbed the wet spot for a while trying to get rid of it and then decided to hike my pants up as high as they'd go and pull my shirt down to cover it. It worked. I think everyone should file lawsuits against MADD because of their name, why is it mothers? It could be family and friends(FAFADD) or the world(TWADD). I think it should be TWADD. It just has a nice ring to it. Everyone call 800-GET-MADD (438-6233) and tell them you want it changed or else we, the people are gonna do some legal action shit.

I agree that people shouldn't drink and drive, it does fuck with your reaction and shit. There has been several times that I still don't know how I made it home in one piece and without getting pulled over. But I don't really understand why people want to be so hard on the people who drink and drive and kill people. Yes it's a tragedy and shit, I haven't quite witnessed it though my mother was ran off the road and into a ditch by someone almost dead from alcohol and percadone(I think thats it the new pill shit for heroine addicts) Luckily she just got her mirror ripped off. But why do we get MADD at them, get it...lol. Ok in 2004, 42,636 people were killed in traffic accidents, 16,694 were alcohol related, thats 39%. Ok so MADD goes after them, now what about the other 61%? Where is the group against bad drivers that killed 25,942 people? No one cares about them? I just hate the fact that people pick certain things to make "important" and groups about. What if I was driving drunk and a bad driver ran a red light and hit and killed me. The report would probably say it was my fault because I had alcohol in my system. I should start a group called DDABD, drunk drivers against bad drivers or something like that. Why not we have all sorts of other stupid groups. Fuck all groups and they are all probably hypocrits, everyone has driven under the influence of something at least once. I'm sure some of them have had a glass of wine, or a beer out at dinner and then drove home. Sure this may or may not be above the legal limit for them but I know everyone has done it. That's why there should be no groups. I don't know I'm just rambling now, fucking stupid people....at least it's Friday and I at least got that stupid shit out of the way!

The Bamboozle

I wanna go!! Someone needs to go here with me! DAMN YOU CHRIS FOR LEAVING ME!!! Wait maybe you can play your thing this spring around this time, we can have a bcahlor thing here. Roadtrip and 2 days of concert!! If not HB your gonna need to get a babysitter for the weekend and go with me, sorry dear no choice!

MEADOWLANDS SPORT COMPLEX
ROUTE 3 & ROUTE 120
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ


Saturday May 6th
Fall Out Boy
All American Rejects
Thursday
Hawthorne Heights
MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK
From First to Last
Armor For Sleep
Mae
Relient K
Streetlight Manifesto
HelloGoodbye
The Spill Canvas
A Very Special Reunion For A Cause
HIDDEN IN PLAIN VIEW
BAYSIDE
PARAMORE
OVER IT
THE ROCKET SUMMER
THIS DAY AND AGE
HIT THE LIGHTS
JONAS BROTHERS
DRIVE BY
SUNGLASSES AT KNIGHT
KEATING
HOUSE OF HEROES
PISTOLITA

Sunday May 7th
Taking Back Sunday
Senses Fail
Underoath
Panic! At The Disco
Circa Survive
Say Anything
Every Time I Die
The Bled
It Dies Today
The Sleeping
HIM
LIFETIME
NIGHTMARE OF YOU
EMANUEL
JUNE
I AM THE AVALANCHE
ANTERRABAE
HE IS LEGEND
ZOX
CAFFEINE
Linc's Special Guest: Def Jam Recording Artist ?

My god, I am fucking HOT, they can't get the fucking temperature right in this fucking building. We freeze like we're outside with it being 40* and now it's like 80. I am sweating my balls off. My window is locked and We don't have a key so I can't open it. I can open one behind my desk but it is blocked my the desk so i doesn't help much. Counseling sucked again last night. Our usual instructor was back but must have had a bad VD or some shit. Chris called at 6, when the class is supposed to start and he just walked in so I answered it knowing we weren't gonna start for another half hour and he threw a little temper tantrum telling me to get off the phone and when I did he said it was supposed to be off and I told him, he was late and class wasn't begining yet. He got mad at me, he continued being a dick for a while and everyone was just quiet. Eventuall people came in late and they didn't know he was being a dick so they started talking and helped pass the time. I did call my buddy in NY. He was a telemarketer but now works with the mantally handicap, he was at work when I called. He continued to call them retards while he was at work. He isn't too bright. I asked him what he was doing this weekend, HB said something about maybe taking a trip up there but with all the snow I decided to invite him down here. He said he had to work this weekend and that he just got his learners permit. I forgot he didn't have a lisence, I guess you don't really need one with public transpotation there. 24 years old and no lisence was funny. But Chris and I are gonna have a guys night in on Friday, so that should be fun. Drink a little, play some Halo2, talk since we don't get the chance to talk much. Perhaps give him a good ramming in his ass before he leaves. I am pretty sure I will have no more credit card debt on the first!! God it feels good, if I wasn't paying rent on a place I stay at once a week, I'd be rolling in PHAt money. Looking at my checkbook, after getting paid and paying bills last night, I am very pleased. I just need to save a bunch of money. For my trip to Texas in June, and I'm really looking foreward to Alaska and Hawaii for Christmas. Plus I need to save money for when I get out and all that other good shit. I've never been able to get that much in my savings. I usually save up to what I've got about now then go blow it on stupid shit like Speakers or something. But not this time. I am gonna be responsible! Well I need to look up some shit about shipping so my boss doesn't yell at me. It's almost Friday, which means 3 day weekend for everybody but me! I have to come in sometime this weekend. Plus I need to go to my other job to get more of that good money. Tonight I am making another attempt to go to MADD, we'll see if the 4th times a charm!

Random Humpday Thoughts....

It seems from time to time that I think of things I want to post but by time I get to the comp I forget or feel like bitching about something else. I miss those days at USU when I had all the time in the world to remember and type it. I have been very busy here and it sucks ass. Sunday when I venture out after the snow storm I went to Taget to get some new movies to entertain HB and I. I was looking for the new Action Action CD that I found out came out at the end of January. They didn't have it at Target, though they did have a little section at the front of an aisle that had "new music" which had Silverstein, Hawthorne Heights, Bloc Party (Silent Alarm, not the new one). It kind of shocked me, I even heard Silverstein and Hawthorne Heights on the PA, that was even more scary. These Underground bands that I have already seen in concert and had their album for about a year are becoming "new music". I think it's great when the bands I really like get more national recognition but at the same time I hate it, because I'll never get the chance to see them at small venues again. Bloc Party at the Black Cat, HA they sold out a year ago when they were only getting play on a few college stations and internet buzz from blogs like The Smudge. I can't even search for new music at work anymore. Purevolume only works once in a while here, myspace is blocked, and launch on yahoo wants you to sign in now and I can't on this comp. I did see action action is up for who's next, go check out their video and hear the new song and vote for them! GO NOW! but then come back. God I have a bunch of work to do before 9 and then after I do some more shit I need to go down and help audit another department that I'm not looking foreward to. A chief that was my instructor in Connecticut works down there and I hate her because she is a bitch and a backstabber, I need to call my buddy tonight, she tried to get him thrown out and he eventually did it himself. He is in New York with the shitload of snow. I will call him. I'm fucking hungry as shit, I don't know why. HB cooked an awesome meal last night. The moron is gone and I only vaguely know how to do my job. I know the basics but not everything, I don't care too much because I'm out of here by December, but I still hate being a piece of shit. I miss my son. I wish he could come here this summer, but it would be too hard with me working 2 jobs, it would be pointless and I wouldn't have a sitter for him. It would just be pointless. I'm a bummed that I'm probably gonna miss Mike when I'm in Texas. I just want to go to sleep. I need to save money, for Texas, Alaska, Hawaii if I'm still allowed to go. I need to go home in July for Aaron's bday, I want to make a trip up to New York to see my buddy sometime because his fat ass will probably never come down here. Hell I don't even know if he's still fat I haven't seen him in 3 over 3 years now. I had a dream a coupld nights ago about me and HB getting married, I had Chris, Uncle Tom, him, and Mike there it was great, but kind of sad that the only people who mean anything to me(friend wise) I have met in the military. No one from back home, another reason to not go back. The ex was talking about transferring to an Arby's in South Carolina, but I doubt that'll happen. I told her I don't really care where she goes since I have no clue where I'm gonna go. I told here I was staying here for a while after I got out. I'm still waiting on the Child support people to send me shit so I can do my taxes and find out how much I owe this year. HR Block online said I get back $29, I'm hoping if I can deduct child support I should get more back, I think it's because I move into a new tax bracket with my other job. I'm glad out housing allowance isn't taxed, we make a hitload off of that. I don't want to go to counseling tonight. Last week we had a sub that we had before and I thought she was pretty cool, cuz she said she's done every drug and shit, well last week she hinted that she never did. and was being a bitch, she said all of us were in her book of mental disorders and one guy was talking about his ex that keeps getting him locked up by sayin he hit her but he never did and she kept saying that he did because he was an alcoholic. He hasn't drank in a year and goes to AA meetings everyday and shit because of his kids but she just kept saying he hit her. I was pissed and I changed the subject and kept on her about some shit about everyone is an addict because people drink soda or smoke and that shit isn't in her book. She got mad and changed the subject to something else. Fucking bitch. This guy has been getting shit straight and she wants to knock him down. She wasn't there, though neither was I, we have no choice but to believe him. Not to say that because her book says something and she has 2 masters degrees that what she says is right. Fuck her! And I'm gonna tell my counselor tonight that her attitude towards us drove me to drink or some shit. I'll probably think of something better than that to try to get her in trouble but right now I just keep staring at the stack of folders that I need to do and thinking about food. Oh well those are some of my random thoughts. HAppy Humpday.

V-Day

SO I was looking back on V-day 2005, remembering my drunk blogging and typing stupid shit, it's pretty bad when I was drunk by 9pm on a Monday. But fuck it. I also noticed that I have been posting pretty consistently for a year now, wow that truly is a lot of nothingness. All my batching, complaining, drunken adventures, and the concerts I've been to. I wonder if these blogs will be here forever, so when my son is older I can say hey go to this website and read about when I was in my early 20s. That's the crazy shit your old man used to do and think. I may have thought differently of my father if I read some shit like this about my dad. He always seemed like a hard ass, strong guy. Hopefully I will look like that through my sons eyes. But because my dad always looked like that I never thought he'd been through or felt like I did. I never talked to him about anything really. Perhaps Aaron would read this and say dad, that's what I'm going through. I don't know why I was thinking about that but oh well there it is.

Back to V-day. I apparently struck gold! I get up this morning and tell HB happy V-day and she kind of ignored me and made it clear or at least I am gonna think this way anyway, that she despises a day created by hallmark to sell more cards and candy and shit. So we all know that means no more V-day celebrations! No cards, flowers, candy, or any of that bullshit! Why do we need a day that says we need to give women this crap anyway. I give flowers and candy when I want to, that should mean more than giving it on a day that "They" say I should. Surprises are way better anyway. Which is why I got her a nice ring instead of all that other crap. And if Kay would have made it the size I told them, it wouldn't have been too small, though we might have had to make it a little bigger for comfort. Then it wouldn't be in the shop until the 22nd! Fucking bastards. Does 5 sound or look like 4 and 3/4 no it doesn't! Fucking Nazi's at least their not trying to charge me or anything since I took it to a diffeerent Kay's. But I sigh a huge sigh to the fact that I'll never have to celebrate this day again. Last year I was sad because this day tortures single people and drives us to drink and try to type shit on the internet for everyone to see. And now I am happy and with a beautiful woman that I love, and I celebrate that fact everyday! So I want to give a big giant
FUCK YOU V-DAY AND HALLMARK!
Everyone else, have a good Tuesday!

Some weekend fun

I had a lot of fun this weekend. Didn't really do much but it was fun. We exchanged Valentine's gifts on Saturday night because she couldn't wait. We were on our way to get groceries and she said something about the mall being packed with guys trying to get last minute gifts, I told her that's why I got her's last weekend. She got mad, because we didn't discuss getting gifts, I didn't think you had to, I thought it was a given. I guess I have been out of the Vday loop for too long or something. I got her a nice heart shaped ring. She was shocked since I try to surprise people like her Christmas gift that was way off the wall. I enjoyed my gift but I don't think I can mention it...lol. But yeah wwe got a bunch of snow on Saturday night. I went to the store to get some new movies and stuff to keep us entertained inside. The backroads were bad, I was sliding all over the place but the main roads were good. I like driving in snow, at least when no one else is on the road. It's when everyone else is out there that it freaks me out because they all suck ass! I drove us both in this morning, When I went to pull into my parking place and the cop car was pulling up to start yelling at people. So I thought I made it just in time. So I went and parked but the fucking prick walked over to my car and asked what I was doing and I wanted to be a smart ass. I said parking. He said why, I said I had a 7 oc lock appointment at family health, he asked if I worked there, I said kind of, he said it's an easy yes or no question, I said my place is located in the hospital but detachment for Virginia, he said to move my car. So I went back to the garage and parked in the Carpool parking. FUCK THEM! I hate the fact that I had to stand the fucking gate for 10 hours in the freezing fucking cold because we had like 10 fucking people assigned to do it and now we have enough fucking people that we don't know what to do with. Hey let's put them at all the fucking parking lots for a while so we can fucking keep people from parking in people's parking spots. Why Fucking create parking spots if we don't want people to park in them, because we don't have enough parking on base, well how about instead of paying people to be fucking parking monitors, we build the parking garages taller, or put in other ones. Probably because that would make too much fucking sense. We just put parking monitors out because some big wig fucking came to the base and couldn't find a parking spot and complained even thought they have floors of parking for thesee VIPs maybe I consider myself a VIP and I do actually and I should be able to park there and not get a fucking ticket. Maybe I should drive my car into the security office and try to hit the little armory and when they come out and yell at me, ask if thats not an adequate place to park. and then just drive away. Deep breaths, only 10 more months and then I will be a civilian and I will have more pull with these fuckers because I can tell them off and not get in trouble for it!! Ah, I can't fucking wait. But anyways it's Monday and I have duty this week, which means I just have to sit on my ass til like 4-430 and make sure all the doors are locked because god forbid people shut off the lights and lock the doors behind them. SO I'm not going to my other job but I get to spend more time with HB but I don't get much money. We're trying to get a timeline for our trip in June. Hopefully it will be around the same times as Zefyur. Ok I need to go do some work!

ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!

My top 8. I've been busy all day doing actuall work. I even had to stay like 20 minutes later at Navy because I had to do a bunch of other shit. But HB still wants to rush me for my top 8. I am at my other job and have shit to do here as well. But first I'd like to invite everyone over to myspace to listen to The Seldon Plan they've been over on my sidebar for a while and people may have forgotten. Be their myspace friends, go HERE. Ok my top 8 whatever I am supposed to do. Even though everyones are pretty much the same.

1. Of couse Sense of humor, I mean come on when we can sit and laugh together at stupid shit, that's always a good time. And she's still giving me shit because last night she was pinching my ass and I farted on her hand. It wasn't on purpose she just jiggled it out. But we have a good laugh.

2. Communication, I've always been bad at this. I keep emotions and thought bottled up so it doesn't offend the other or make them worry. But with HB I tell her everything and try to get her to tell me everything. Any insecurities, just voice them instead of letting them brew. As long as it is discussed calmly and rationally everything will be fine...I hope.

3. Honesty of course. I mean who likes being lied to, Uncle Tom please put your hand down. But I've been lied to a lot, and I've also lied alot to keep from fights. But this goes with communication because not telling is almost as bad as lying. And lying isn't honest.

4. Attractive, No one else is gonna put this for fear of being shallow, well fuck all of you. It's tru you don't usually fall in love with someone your not attracted to. Although it does happen, your friends first and then bam, but whatever. HB is smoking hot, I don't see why she thinks I'm hot but whatever I'm not ugly, just skinny.

5. What's the word that means put up with my shit, we'll just call it understanding. This is life we all fuck up from time to time, we have emotions and sometimes we get angry and I yell at you for smacking my lower back 5 minutes after I woke up, I'm sorry. I wasn't mad at you just a little cranky.

6. Caring I guess, just thinking of the other. I try to do it and it's nice to finally have someone else do it for me. Ask how the others day went and actually care, not just saying it to say it. Do things that may not be your favorite but the others favorite. I go shopping for christ sakes, that's only fun for CDs, movies and sometimes books. Clothes are a no.

7. Adventerous, I like to be spontanious from time to time. Like it's says over there to the left. I get stuck in routine and I don't think its a bad thing because it's safe but sometimes I like to get up and go somewhere anywhere.

8. Love, self explanitory right. I've finally found someone who loves my faults and I love hers, we accept our pasts and love that they have made us the people we are now and have brought us together. I love everything about her and I think she loves everything about me, except how I dress and fart on her hand. And she's accusing me of yelling at her lately but I'll settle that tonight with the back of my hand! Just kidding, she'd whoop my ass!...lol. There hunny I did what you asked off me....I love you. Everyone else happy Friday have a good weekend.


I Tag Uncle Tom so he'll fucking post something!! and anyone else who wants to.

More useless shit....

It was during World War II that clothes with elastic waists were introduced. This is because the metal used in zippers was badly needed for the war.

Walmart-mart sells more apparel a year than all the other competing department stores combined.

After the U.S Civil War, about 33%-50% of all U.S. paper currency in circulation was counterfeit.

Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb was afraid of the dark.Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb was afraid of the dark.

The most senior crayon maker Emerson Moser retired after making 1.4 billion crayons for Crayola. It was then that he revealed that he was actually colorblind.

Less than 1% of the women in the world will ever be able to wear a diamond that is the size of a carat or more.

Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents.

The word Spain means "the land of rabbits."

Pilgrims did not eat potatoes for Thanksgiving as they thought they were poisonous.

In 1983, a Japanese artist, Tadahiko Ogawa, made a copy of the Mona Lisa completely out of ordinary toast.

Bugs Bunny was originally called "Happy Rabbit."

An olive tree can live up to 1500 years.

An acre of trees can remove about 13 tons of dust and gases every year from the surrounding environment.

In 1992, the Antarctic Ozone hole was larger than the continent of North America.

The hog-nosed skunk can spray up to fifteen feet with incredible accuracy.

In one gram of soil, about ten million bacteria live in it.

Pics

French Toast


French Toast 2


(Sounds of) Keileidoscope


Black Cat, Black Cat...for Canowine


Lily's


Uncle Tom and Sugarduck


Hb and I

Happy Humpday

Yes it is. Yesterday I got to leave work a whole half hour early and today I got to come in 4 hours late! I can't remember if I mentioned it my other posts or not since I've been to busy being pissed at Moron to post everything that I wanted too, but Monday it was below 40 in my office, it was fucking freezing. It felt like the air conditionaing was on but I think that since we are on the top floor, outside air was just blowing in, it warmed up to about 50 later that day but was still too cold. I went outside to smoke and warm up, it was actually warmer outside, I think it was just because of the sun, but whatever. Yesterday it was still cold as shit, it was about 50 and our officer in charge said that he was sorry for us staying yesterday because he's new here and was making phone calls and shit to find out if he could shut this place down until they fixed it. They were supposed to fix it yesterday but they didn't so he told us to go home and come in late today because they were supposed to fix it first thing this morning. And they did so it actually feels good in here. I wish they wouldn't have fixed it so we could go home again. Hmmmmmm, I think I have and idea....... Anyways so I got to sleep in til 9, and I went to bed around 9. God I feel all refreshed and shit, I don't even sleep that much on weekends. I don't think I've slept that much since my last all night drinkfest where I passed the hell out. But it did feel good. Everyone else doesn't have to be here til noon, but since I come in earlier than them so I can leave at 2, I came in at 10. That gives me time to myself without them here. And then when they come in, it will be time for me to go home! I get to do Laundry and try to clean up my place a bit tonight before counseling. Good times, at least I shouldn't need my nap after work. Happy Humpday everyone, I hope your goes as good as mine has been thus far!

New look...for the blog at least

Since everyone else has been changing their template I wanted to too. Except I didn't just copy it from somewhere so it has a fancy picture crap! I worked hard last night at my other job and this morning here in between Moron's talking and making me run around and do crap on the computer, he kept getting mad because he'd have me open a program and I kept clicking over to the template to edit. He was pissing me off again today. Plus This morning they wouldn't let me park where they told me to park last time so I parked illegally in a carpool spot and hope that I don't have a ticket on my car when I go home. So I was pretty pissed this morning. I need to get here before they set up that horseshit in the mornings or just lie and say I have an appointment.

I had lunch with HB yesterday in which she revealed some startling news. She made a comment about the way I dressed. Now I know that I dress bad, I like to wear offensive shirts, I like to shock people. That's the way I've always been. Almost got kicked out of school several times for wearing offensive shirts. I like to take advantage of freedom of speech. But she said that if I'd been dressed in civilian clothes when I asked he out she probably would have said no. This hurts. I mean that's just my style, though she claimed that I have no style. Just because I wear jeans and funny shirts, concert tees, or hoodies with skulls of dragons. That's all the shirts I have. I keep saying that most of my wardrobe is still from High school. If everything fits and isn't all jacked up why waste money on new shit, that's my philosophy. Now had I received this complaint from anyone I was just "seeing" I'd wear my extremely offensive shirts and perhaps buy some worse shit from t-shirt hell and where them all the time just to piss them off further. And wait for them to fun away. But I love HB too much to do that. Plus, I would hope that even if I tried something like that, she would still stay and just not like the fact that it is what I choose to wear. Perhaps someday I will buy more nice clothes, I have a couple pairs now. But I would rather be comfortable and in something that it doesn't matter if I stain or anything. I am very clumsy and spill shit and cut myself(not on purpose) and bleed on things. Not to mention that I work 2 jobs and on weekends I don't do much that I think I need to dress up for. When I think it is warranted I dress nice. I dressed up when I did the little night I did the rose petal fantasy thing. And I think there was another time or 2 that I dressed up. I don't really understand why women think that we should dress up all the time. See us guys look at a woman and may think she'd look hot in a catholic school girl outfit or a skirt with fishnet stockings but if we bring stuff like that up, we're perverts. Damn double standard america. Damn whoever invented clothes. If we were still able to fun around naked, we wouldn't have to worry about things like this. We wouldn't be self conscious the first time we were naked with someone, we'd be naked all the time. Just my thought on the situation. Moron's bugging me again so I guess I need to go, Happy whatever day today is, I think it's Tuesday yeah, because I got counseling tomorrow, 9 more to go YippIE!!!

Weekend and Concert

SO Friday we went to the concert at the Black Cat. It was a pretty good show. I mean no one was great but it's always a good time. I think we agreed that Frech Toast sounded the best. We were right up front for them. They sounded really good but pissed me off when I bought their CD saying that I'd only buy it if they signed it and they said ok, but one of them was missing so they were gonna wait until he came back and I never got them to sign it. I was pretty salty about that. Uncle Tom and I kept trying to guess who was Ian since the only pics we could find of him were about 20 years old. So it was kind of funny. (Sounds of) Kaleidascope were ok, they were a younger, kind of, garage band. Lily's were all right, we were sitting in the back for their performance, we were talking and waiting for French Toast to sign my shit. But we had some drinks and just bullshitted with some pretty good music. Saturday I went to my other job and didn't have as much to do as I thought, so I punched in and went to the mall and then came back and played on the computer, moved some shit around then left. I killed about 3 and a half hours there. I was gonna clean my car out but it was raining. Yesterday was pretty much a lazy day. HB and I went to IKEA to get an entertainment center and I put it together. I think she was a little upset that I took that task over but I like working with my hands and my current profession doesn't really require me to do that. Watched some movies, nothing new though. We need to get some newer movies, we've watched all of the ones we have too many times. But it was a nice relaxing weekend. Hope today goes good. I am tired, damn Mondays! I will hopefully put the pics up on Wednesday.

I'm back...kind of

So I am still pissed. This guys is gonna be CM for complete moron for the next week until I don't have to look at him again. Now I'm trying to get programs set up on my computer so I can do my job but since the damn military wants me to not instal shit I have to get computer guys to come do it and all kinds of shit which is why I had to go earlier. But they continue to fuck it up, the program is fucked up, CM has been over my shoulder saying stupid shit that I can figure out on my own. Earlier he was fucking with me while I was messing with said fucked up program and I was being mean to him pretty much telling him to shut the fuck up, like I did last night at the grocery store(will talk about that in a minute) adn I had to get up and leave. The other guy I work with came out to smoke with me, I was so pissed my legs were shaking. I just wanted to throw him through the fucking window of our 4th floor fucking office into a bucket of hot tar below(their working on our roof, so there is tar down there). I sit here silently typing on my computer but inside I am fucking screaming until my throat bleeds, I am grabbing the fucking phone and bashing his face in, Shoveing his face through the monitor, stabbing him with my pen. He is just that type of person, if you talk to him for more than 5 minutes you hate him, longer than that you want to kill him. There is no fucking reason a person like him should be on my planet!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok Grocery store last night, HB and I went to the one I hate the baggers at and I said we had to get less than 20 items, it didn't work. So why is it cashiers feel the need to give the kids something. Stupid fucking foreign fucks, just because they found a military guy to marry their fucking ass because they cooked, cleaned, and were pretty much fuckiing slaves to them, they get a green card, come here and work on military installations. And can't hear or understand someone putting candy on the counter and telling said child that he can have it after he eats dinner. No the fucking cashier wants to try to hand candy to the kid, causing him to cry when the parent takes it. And then the stupid ass cashier wants to try to tell the kid ways to coherce the parent into giving them the candy. All while I stand there and tell the cashier to stop talking and do their fucking job. Start fucking ringing up the fucking items so we can leave instead telling child to stop crying and ask please. Then trying to give a crying child a loaf of fucking bread. Yes let's give an angry person bread, so he can smash it throw it or whatever(He didn't, he didn't want it but that's what I would have done if I was in his shoes). Let's just give him the eggs! Fucking stupid fuck. While I continued to say mean things to the cashier, HB is yelling at me(not yelling but trying to get me to stop) and telling me she's gonna start leaving me and Gabe in the car. Then she gives the fucking bagger a tip! But my evilness is rubbing off on her, while we were driving there was a biker in the road and swerving into where I'm going and I made a smart ass comment and out of the corner of my eye I seen her flip the biker off. I just kind of laughed shocked. It was truely a moment of love, when we share a hatred for people...lol. Ok I need to smoke again, eat some food, and then try to fix this fucking program....don't worry people I'm gonna be pissed off enough today for the whole world!

Show tomorrow night

I am suprised that I haven't said anything about the show I am going to tomorrow night. I am pretty excited, it'll be my first show with HB and probably my last show with canowine. We are going to see Lilys, (sounds of) Kaleidoscope, and French Toast. French Toast has a couple members from Fugazi and Ian MacKaye usually goes to the Black Cat. So we are hoping we'll see him there. Maybe we'll be able to talk to him and get some pics with him or at least the band. Since they are an opening band, they will probably be at the merch table, where me and Uncle Tom usualy harrass the bands and get them to take pics with us. I will have my camera so let's hope for the best. Uncle Tom and sugarduck are coming too so it should be a grand old time! I don't think Ian will be to happy that we will be drinking beer. Since he is a straight edger and shit but who knows, we'll find out if we find him huh. But the guy I'm replacing is a moron after trying to explain that my son was in Ohio yesterday and not on an acre cruise or whatever the fuck was going through his mind, he asks me again today if my family was here. To avoid talking to him again I said that I didn't have a family and the he says what about your son, I said in Ohio. and then turned away. He is a moron, I only have to deal with him til next Friday. BUt I need to go .

Time....

So I am almost done with Einstein's Dreams and it got me thinking and I tried to look some shit up but it was too much reading and shit. But who decided that we should have time? I know at first there was a sundial and shit to approximate time. But who decided that there were 60 seconds and 24 hours and how many days in a week and how many days in a month and all that shit. I can see how many days in a year, that can be calculated by how the earth rotates and shit but why isn't there 10 months with 25 or 36 days, did some one count from when the sun came up one day until the sun came up the next day to figure out that there was about 86400 seconds in a day. This shit pisses me off. I like the book because it talks about different realms of time. The book is very discriptive and helps me "see" what they are talking about, except I think the author was a brit or some shit because I don't understand the places he is talking about like Marktgasse and shit. I think he is saying markettown or something. Anyway, different realms where time goes backward, stops, you can see your future, where time radiates from a certain point, one where every moment seems like the end, and so on. It is kind of cool, I wish we did have these realms. In one you can walk through time. Like walking to another place, you can walk to another time. I wish I alone could do this. I would be filthy rich, I would win the lottery and become a professional gambler. Go to Vegas and take a step back from the roulette wheel and put everything I had on 36, Take a step back and bet on the boxing match or keno. God that would be awesome! But anyways, damn the fucker who came up with a clock. If they hadn't invented it you'd just have to be at work when the sun came up, on rainy days you wouldn't be late and you would be able to leave when the sun started to get low. I think it would be pretty fucking cool. Civilization made it for a damn long time without clocks and having to be somewhere by a certain time. Why fuck up a good thing that wasn't broken! In one realm there wasn't a concept of time, a couple met and the man said to meet him at the fountain, she waited for a couple days at the fountain for fear she would miss him. Now that's great, that's love and dedication. But I am bored as shit and trying to kill this so-called "time" until I can go home so I going to keep reading. Happy Humpday! Maybe I can ask the group at counseling what their thought of time are to kill time there.

And another thing...

Spanish sucks! When I bought my books the other day I also got a pack of CD's that was to teach me Spanish and after listen to 3 of them (that's 6 lessons) I've come to the conclusion I am too white to speak another language. My only hope is too learn how to understand it so when I go to Texas with HB her friends and family can't talk about me without me knowing what they are saying. I can't pernonciate in English how do they expect me to do it in Spanish?! Hell I don't understand half of the english language!

I wanna bitch

There has been a lot going through my mind this morning. Most of them gripes and complaints, so many that I doubt I can remember them all. First I forgot my coffee this morning on the counter and am tired and moody without my morning caffine! I get to the base and go to park where I usually do and they are checking for fucking stickers because they have nothing better to do at 630 in the morning. Stupid bitch asks me if I'm allowed to park there and I say yes. She asked where my sticker was and I said I just checked in and hadn't gotten one yet. I didn't mention that the last thing I fucking need on my new car is a fucking nother sticker to say I'm allowed to park somewhere. She says I can't park there until I get a sticker so I had to go park outside of the garage which is no big deal really. I don't have to walk any further and it will save me from driving up and down in the garage looking for a spot. But I just didn't wanna have to deal with turning around and shit so it pissed me off. I went to go do my morning routine which is filling up cryoststa and stupid shit, well one of the tanks I filled up yesterday was somhow completely empty. I don't know how the fuck that happened. So I had to use one tank to fill both cryostats which took more time and aggrivated me because I still hadn't had my coffee. I then went to Dental sick call because my tooth had been hurting a bit and looks nasty. The doc said it seems alright but if it continues to hurt in 2 weeks come back and they will replace the filling and do a root canal. I'm not too sure what a root canal actually is but I will look it up in a bit. All I know is I've heard people bitching about how much it hurts. Not that I care really. I am trying to get all kinds of dental shit done before I get out because then I will probably never go to the dentist again because it is too damn expensive. I think I went twice before I joined. Twice in 19 years! I can go the rest of my life without going back. That had me thinking about doctors bills also and how scared I am about getting out. I have grown used to a steady paycheck even when I don't come to work, no doctors bills, no dentist bills. That is still scary but it is truely what I want to do. At least for now, I wanna be a civilian for a while. I've felt bad because I can't help my buddy who's in pain half way around the world. Hell I slept on his couch most of the time when I was depressed. His wife or whatever has started checking this again I don't know if she's waiting for me to bitch about her or what. I would but I don't think he would like it so I just keep my mouth shut, it's none of my business so all I can do is hope that he finds light somewhere. I worry about everyone hitting on HB, though I know it's not her fault and whatever. It is kind of a compliment but with my low self esteem I just think someone better will come along and bye bye or whatever, though for now I am still certain that she is happy as am I. We joke about who is gonna end up leaving who, it's kind of funny. I am fucking starving. I finally brought up some of the groceries I bought for lunch but only have a real small tubaware thingy to cook it in and I need to buy a canopener for up here too. My lips are chapped and hurt. My eyes going blurry again, but at least it doesn't hurt. My ass itches, it really does but I figured that since I'm bitching about everything else I'd share that with everyone. Hope everyone else has a good tuesday.

Weekend Review

SO I had a pretty exciting weekend. Friday when I got off work I went home and took a nap and woke up with one of my eyes hurting. It continued to get sharp pains in it from time to time and kept watering and going blurry, this continued all weekend. That's enough to make anyone have a great time. I wanted an eye patch so I could be a pirate but was too lazy to go to the store to get one. It didn't hurt too bad yesterday and today it seems to be back to normal, and I'm wearing my contacts again so I am happy. That was pretty much my excitment, HB and I watched Hostel at my place and it was pretty good even though the sound was a little messed up. We went and walked around IKEA, that wasn't all that fun, too many yuppies even on a Sunday. We talked about moving in, they had some really nice rooms already set up, it seems a little rude to actually purchase those things and move them to your house and set them up all over again, might as well take advantage of them now and save time, effort, and money. It all makes since to me at least. I finally finished my book "The burn journals" I would only recommend this book to adults who are happy. As I told HB, if I'd read that book when I was a freshman, I would have set myself on fire. Sure it talked about the pains and physical therapy that lasted a year and the scars and everything but all I got from it was..."if you want attention, look at what this did for me." Plus I would just be sure not to burn my face because it made him self concious and probably would me too. He set himself on fire because he was gonna get in trouble. He gets a letter from president Clinton, meets Majic Johnson, Dennis Miller, talks on the phone to Jay Leno, gets out of school for a year and doesn't have to make it up, get massages from hot girls, has everyone waiting on him hand and foot. Hell sounds like it's be worth it to me. That's the one thing that kind of upset me. While I was reading I kept telling HB that I hope it had a morale at the end but nothing, he goes back to school. The it had the afterward or something for the paperback that said he continued to battle depression and eventually got help and meds that help him now. I still think it would be worth it but that may just be me. I mean hell my parents didn't give me any attention until mom walked in and caught me making a noose out of an extention cord since the rope I had broke in the closet and then she just threw a fit and I got in trouble, but if I'd been on fire I would have gotten all that shit. That's just my outlook on it.

But since I finished that one we went to Borders for me to find a new book. I couldn't find anything that caught my eye so I called Handy dandy Uncle Tom and he had me get: Einstein's Dreams which is pretty good but kind of hard to follow so far, I'm only like 30 pages in, haven't had much time to read it lately but it is a short book with short chapters. And also I was supposed to pick up something about troutfishing in watermelon sugar but I got a different book from the same author I got Richard Brautigan : A Confederate General from Big Sur, Dreaming of Babylon, and the Hawkline Monster which I haven't started yet but he said it was supposed to entertain me for a while. And that's about it I think. Thankfully we finally got our internet back after it was shut down all morning and I was starting to go crazy. Hope everyone has a decent monday!

Thank you Mister Bagger man

Mr. Bagger man,

Hi, we just met a little while ago. I would like to thank you for dooming any other bagger I meet at the commisary. Though there have been a few before you that have sparked my hatred for you, you drove me over the edge. I hate the fact that I couldn't think of the words to tell you while I was there but I was so full of rage all I could think about was not puching you in the face and then grabbing the lighter fluid that was next to the cash register and squirting it all over you and then pull my zippo out of my pocket and spark it and then throw it at you. Sometimes when I do have cash in my pocket and go to buy groceries, I don't need someone to push the few items in my cart out to my car for me, I am a big boy. And when I take the cart from you in the store I don't need you to throw your hands in the air and point at the sign saying "baggers don't get paid by the hour, they work for tips". Next time one of you try to make a scene like that I will say "Fine, you can take my bags to my car." and then after you put all my groceries in my trunk and shut it for me I will then go to get in my car and leave. If you should persist in any way that you still deserve a tip I will give you one. Go get a real fucking job that pays by the hour. Bagging groceries isn't hard I did it for about a year and a half making $5 an hour. You will nor any other of your fellow baggers will get a fucking penny from my hard earned money. I work 2 fucking jobs, I leave the house by 6am every morning and am usually lucky if I'm back home by 7pm, thats 5 days a week and then I sometimes work on saturday. So fuck you and your 8 fucking hours for tips. Because of you I am tempted to go to the commisary everyday during my luch break and get 20 items so I can't go into the express lane so I have to have one of you baggers try this shit with me again until I give each of you this speech, maybe then you won't try to guilt people into giving you money anymore. If you want to guilt people go stand on one of the fucking street corners and I don't give those fuckers anything anymore either. So I hope that the couple dollars I didn't give you is gonna make you starve to death so that the world can be a little better without another fucking bum on it trying to get some fucking money the easy way instead of going out and getting a real job where they have to work for it. Bagging groceries is for teenagers who can't get these "real jobs" your an old fucking man that is supposed to have some sort of skill other than bagging groceries.
Your new enemy for life,
Randy

Random thoughts

First off I am very upset! Keoki from The Smudge made CNN and they have his name and video of him HERE scroll down to where it says "residents react". "It's shocking" Bastard, I used to live in those apartments too. I only got referred to on CNN, they couldn't reveal my name! He's leaving soon! I hate you Keoki!

My phone here at work is messed up and it's just been annoying me. As far as I know it still works but the screen thing is frozen and it annoys me. Ok I think I fixed it.

A coworker called and asked what I wanted from McD's this morning and he bought me a steak, egg, and cheese bagel! I think I am gonna like this guy more than Uncle Tom and Canowine who never thought of me. Canowine did give me his hashbrown but still!

I am fucking hungry and about to go down and get some Subway again! I alternate between Subway and Taco Bell and getting annoyed. I really have to go to the grocery store and get stuff to bring in here!

I've been listening to From Autumn to Ashes CD that HB bought me and I was digging it. It sounds good but then if you really focus on what their saying they are stupid. I am still trying to figure out if the sound can cancel out lyrics like:

Long to Go

Believe it or not the notes are trying to talk to me
I've got to applaud such valiant efforts
It's not always the party that it seems to be
It can be a complete debacle
These are some occupational hazards
Perhaps You'll try to save my spot?
Just until the album drops
Then I'll be at the capri shop
Adjacent to the graham L stop
Believe it or not we're not the ideal guys to date
So I guess I'm a risky decision
But you did not write me off, you knew that I could change
So I'm studying my guide to safety
It's so hard to tell if this is an artistic achievement
Or am I singing from obligation
When all I want is to feel my heart rate
Accelerate, and we accelerate.

It sounds good while listening then when you focus it sounds stupid, there are other songs tageting the "outsider/Rebel" kids also.

Fuck yeah!

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

So get your damn commandments out of my school, out of my courthouse, and off the rest of my tax funded property!

A great quote by a great man:

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason, and intellect, has intended us to forego their use..."
-Galileo

Don't Pray in my school and I Promise I Won't Think in Your Church. Get these great quotes and more on thirts at www.boffensive.com

This Flesh A Tomb by Atreyu

I feel eyelashes on my cheek
And they lacerate my flesh
A pain so good
Put your hand in mine
Never let go
Never wake up 'cause I'm done with promises
I'm taking blood oaths
Feels likes you could kiss my imperfections
My imperfections away
And I would stand
Stand by your side until the sun turns the sky
All the colors I see in your eyes

I'll never need to see the sun again
There's enough light in your eyes to light up our little world
So take me, take my away
Kill me slowly, I'll never be the same

I swear to you, on everything I am
And I dedicate to you all that I have
And I promise you that I will stand right by your side
Forever and always until the day I die

The bite marks on my neck never felt so good
I'm losing control and it's all that I can do
Not to blackout and fall into lust with you
Your kisses infect me
The dark gift is loving you

And I feel immortal and I want to make you feel the same
So stand by me as we immulate
We can burn in each other's arms

Green eyed Monster

Why does it have to be green eyed when talking about jealousy or envy. Apparently because Shakespeare decided since green was the color of sickness that, that's the way it should be and who are we to argue with Shakespeare? Jealousy is something that is a part of human nature, no matter how hard we try to fight it. I used to be really jealous and sort of possesive in relationships but I guess the ex made me see a side that made me not do that shit any more. She pretty much made me cut any ties I had with friends I had, except her cousin which she then cut off, which is good cuz her cousin was getting on my nerves and has now been in and out of jail for all kinds of stupid shit. But her main reason was because most of my friends were girls. She felt threatened and threw fits about it but yet thought it was ok for her to go out with her guy friends that wanted to fuck her. Well this was when we were back in Ohio, and then ended up talking about divorce and shit because she was more than likely fuckin this other guy. Whatever, we worked it out kind of. Came to Mayland where she continued to be jealous even when I want to go out with guy friends she'd suspect we were going to an orgy or some shit. And yet she expected me to let her go out whenever she wanted and if I expressed my concerns I was an asshole and it usually resulted in shit being thrown across the room by one of us. I really hated it. If I went "out" it was going to someones house having some drinks and bullshitting, I think I may have went to one club while she was here and I'd be home by like 1 or so. And get yelled at and interogated either that night or the next day, and if there was a girl there, we gang banged her. Whatever, insecurities. Shouldn't I be the one throwing the fit? She fucked around on me, whether she actually fucked him or not, I never messed around, while we were married. There was only once when we were going out but I was in Florida and she pissed me off but whatever I was young. But then she'd go to the club all night with the girls and shit. I've seen these clubs and how the group of girls get surround by these guy, usually a group of marines out of boot who are fucking morons but chicks still dig em because their built and cocky, and I'm neither. But fuck it, I dealt with it. I dealt with the hypocracy. Hell by this point I didn't have shit for friends anyway.

What's really the point of being jealous, we know that people fuck around. And it's stupid, if people want to fuck around just say "hey, I think I wanna check out some other options." Ok so some shit happens, but fuck it, why fuck with someones head? Maybe this all just goes with my "fuck it" attitude, it sure sounds like it. I can still see some jealousy being ok, like I said it's human nature, but letting it really bother you, why, and if it does just tell the other person. Hey this bothers me and this is why. I don't know how or why I've evolved over the years, maybe it's maturity or something because before I'd not say anything just to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy. But now it's just like I wanna talk everything out, with HB I tell her what I feel, what I've done, everything. And I try to get her to do the same, though she doesn't like to. It probably has something to do with feeling vunerable, at least I think that was one of my reasons. But I just want to keep everything in the open, like it has been so far, and everything has been great. I don't want little shit to build up in the back of either of our minds and become resentmant. I want this to be the one that last forever, I want to do everything right. All my mistakes in the past I've learned from and am trying to not make them again.

Pic of Poe's grave

So I only got to take a total of 3 pics, 2 of the memorial and tried on of the people gathered across the street while I was in my car but that one didn't turn out. So Here's his memorial.

Poe Toaster

For those of you who can't listen to the audio blogs below. So I couldn't talk anyone into sitting outside of the cemetary in Bmore. SO I went by myself. After counseling I stopped at 7-11 for supplies, I got a bottle of gatorade and 4 AMPs, the had more sugar than Redbull. I ended up peeing in the gatorade bottle because I didn't wanna go pee and miss it. I got there about 1130 and sat in my car right outside and then took a couple pics of what I thought to be a grave but I guess it was just a memorial. As I sat outside I wonder how a manically depressed, incest writer could influence so many people as the crowd outside got larger, ended up being about 20 people mostly Teenagers and their parents. On the memorial Edgars name actually faced the brick wall surrounding the place, Maria, his aunt/mother-in law, faced out towards the street. The crowd was growing standing in the freezing cold not certain what time the "ceremony" was to take place. I just kept thinking about how wierd it was that I found out about it right before it was to happen. Eventually I left my car to go listen to these people and see what they were thinking about. I found out that the guy wasn't going to do this at the memorial, he was going to do it at his actual grave that is buried around the building where we could not see. This place had 3 gates to enter/exit, all but one were locked, I checked when I first got there. Around 2 2 of us noticed someone inside way across the way, we went around to see if we could see him. We found a ladder against a wall in an alley next to a dumpster. We were seeing if we could see him from around there, one guy climbed tha ladder. While we were doing this apparently he ran out of the other side we were originally at, where some others were still standing. After looking around confused some teens decided to go through this open gate and see the grave, I decide to go as well and see if I could get a pic. We go running around to where we thought the grave may be and then there were people on a balcony yelling for us to get out. At first I thought it was a couple of people who got a head start running but then realized they were serious so I ran for my life. I wasn't getting in trouble for breaking and entering, or tresspassing or any shit like that, I'm on probation. But that was about it. Then I went home, got there about 230 and then had to get back up at 530. I am tired as fucking shit!! Gonna need lots of smokes today and probably trips down to Starbucks. But this kind of cancels my idea of trying to beat him to it because no one will see his reaction, including me. But I was thinking that during the next year I am going to stake this place out, maybe jump the wall some night(probably when it's warm) and look around and maybe next year instead of waiting outside, I'll wait near the grave and try to take a pic or scare him or something. This will probably take a lot of planning though, because I'll assume that these people who were yelling at us from the balcony watch the grave closely to make sure that the Poe Toaster does his thing and leaves without fucking with anything. But I have faith in myself to find ways to accomplish this. Plus I'll be out of the navy and off probation! Well I hope everyone has a better Thusday than me. I also forgot that I have to go to M.A.D.D. tonight, so that blows goats, and I forgot what time I'm supposed to be there. Oh well.

Coincidence or Fate...?

I have chills after this discovery and feel that it is something that I HAVE to do. Why? I don't know perhaps it has something to do with the paranoia of my lurker...lol. But I kind of finished up most the work I needed to do today and went to read my book, but it was left in the car so I grabbed my poetry book and opened it to the last of the folded pages and saw it was Edgar Allan Poe, cool my fav right. Well I remembered the Pixies show when Uncle Tom told me that he was buried around there, so I put the book down and decided I was gonna find out where and check it out sometime. That's when I discovered THIS Poe-Toaster? That is supposed to happen tonight? I told HB last night that I probably wouldn't come over tonight, chill out after my counseling since by time I get up there it's bedtime and I don't like her waiting that late for me so we can eat together. But what are my chances of having no plans and coming across this at this point in time? I haven't really thought about Poe in a long while. I used to read him like once a month a long time ago but I don't know I just feel that I HAVE to go sit outside of the graveyard tonight and try to take pics of this happening. The problem is the time varies I guess. It started aroun 3am and last year was at like 1am. So I hope someone agrees to go with me and keep me company and help me stay awake! I want to get some pics and perhaps follow this person and see who they are and interview them or something. I can make something up. How cool would that be. My luck I'm just gonna fall asleep in my car and get mugged or not wake up for work in the morning but oh well. It must be done!

Lurkers

The other day Happy and Blue 2 post THIS about lurkers. Well I've been noticing a lurker of my blogs, ok well most people who read are technically lurking but they've at least commented before and I kind of know who they are. But some one from Amarillo, Texas has been checking my sites everyday, I noticed them around Jan. 6th. I don't know if whoever they are, is friends with HB and she told them or what. But me being the paranoid person I am, please just leave a simple comment and let me know who you are. All other lurkers enjoy lurking and at least try to say something once a week so I feel special, I don't get very many comments. Thank you!

MySpace and Life

A while back before Christmas HB was talking about myspace and finding old friends from school and I ended up finding an old best friend and got the chance to hang out with him when I was back home, well recently my aunt found me and then my cousin. I've been wanting to talk to said cousin for about a year now, granted I seen her at christmas and before while I was back there but it's hard to call her aside and then to bring up the stuff I wanted to talk about. Let's take a trip back to my younger days. At my grandmas for christmas and other events there was me, my 3 girl cousins, one who is only a couple years younger than me, then my 2 other girl cousins who are a couple years younger than her. So the one I was close to in age was my favorite, we went to fairs and stayed at each others houses and stuff, I wasn't really close to the other 2. The younger one was shy, quiet, well behaved. The older one was kind of snobby(for a little girl), a tattle tale, and we were sometimes mean to her because of that. Well fast foreward to well lets say about a year ago. Younger quiet one is now a pretty cheerleader and I think she plays basketball but not too sure, the older one is alot like I was ecept she is pretty too. My mom told me she died her bright blonde hair black and chopped it off and her mom found out she cut her arm. This is where I wanted to talk to her. I know that no one else in the family can relate to her as I can. But when I went home I'd not really know how to call her up and ask her to hang out and then bring this shit up. Well a week or so ago I got a friend request for her on myspace and saw her "blogs" on there. She claimed she needed someone to talk to, so I sent her a message to email me and told her how I've been there and that I am here to talk to, I wouldn't tell anyone (well in the family anyways). It just seems like she is replaying my high school years. An outsider, feels lonely because she isn't dating anyone, experimenting with drugs, and everything else. I explained to her that life sucks especially at that age and that it does eventually get better and at times it gets even worse but the only thing you can do is keep fighting. I hope she keeps in touch.

Different note Chris and his girlfriend cam over Saturday night to hang out with HB and I. Had some drinks and bullshitted, it was good times. I finally finished my Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs book since HB has been reading the Chronicals of Narnia I've been trying to read too. But I finshed it and said that now I needed to get a new book, well yesterday while I was at my other job, she went to the store and ended up getting me a book. Granted it's kind of a kids book but so is half the shit that Uncle Tom reads and trys to give me to read. The Burn Journals is a true story about when the author was 14 he doused a bathrobe in gas and put it on and set himself on fire. I think she just picked it up for me because it sounded sadistic, but I'm enjoying it so far.

Oh yeah and since I don't know if she's gonna post about it or not I need to. Last night we were lying in bed and staring deep into each others eyes with the moonlight shining through the window and she is saying something about how beautiful my eyes were and I thought I smelled something so I asked if she farted. I just interupted her to ask it, then started sniffing around because I thought I smelled something and earlier she said she felt gassy...lol. I told her from the getgo that I ruin moments alot!

Cheesy but somewhat true

Another email from my aunt...

I am Thankful :

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT! OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS HE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION ! .

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR T HE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY ! BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Have a great Day!!!

More Useless Facts

Since I am unable to access my yahoo mail from my work at Navy since they are assholes, they have been building up, I hat actually working at a "military" place since Usu wasn't censored at all. But here are some facts so I can waste some time here at my other job:

A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for approximately sixty-nine years.

The Ice Man, found in the Italian Alps, is now thought to have been murdered. Scientists found an arrowhead stuck in the man's back. He is now known as the oldest murder victim on record.

A Canadian Tour company offers a two-day course in igloo building.

A language becomes extinct in this world every two weeks.

According to studies, men prefer to have white bedrooms and women prefer to have blue bedrooms.

Canadians Scott Abbott and Chris Haney invented Trivial Pursuit. They were planning on playing Scrabble and realized that some of the pieces were missing so they came up with the idea of making their own game; Trivial Pursuit.

Majority of brides plan their wedding for approximately 7 to 12 months.

41% of women apply body or hand moisturizer a minimum three times a day.

A headache and inflammatory pain can be reduced by eating 20 tart cherries.

India has a Bill of Rights for cows.

In an average lifetime, a person will spend 4 years travelling in an automobile and six months waiting at a red light.

Americans did not commonly use forks until after the Civil War.

Actress Jamie Lee Curtis invented a special diaper for babies that has a pocket.

In 1747, the first American mention of the Christmas tree occurred. However, it was a not a tree but instead a pyramid made out of wood and decorated with apples and evergreen boughs.

A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

Scientists have determined that having guilty feelings may actually damage your immune system.

Back in 1919, the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made headlines by grafting monkey testicles onto human males.

In New York City there are 6,374.6 miles of streets.

Gloucestershire airport in England used to blast Tina Turner songs on its runways to scare birds away.

Serving ice cream on cherry pie was once illegal in Kansas.

Theodore Roosevelt's mother and first wife died on the same day in 1884.

During the 1600's, boys and girls in England wore dresses until they were about seven years old.

In 1998, a law passed in the U.S. state of Virginia allows drivers to keep their road kill, as long as they report it within 12 hours.

Before 1883, the three-cent U.S. stamp was also used for advertising. The advertisment was located on the back of the stamp for various products.

Studies indicate that surgeons who listen to music while they operate improve in their performance.

Sales of antacids increase by as much as 20% the day after the Superbowl.

Is it in the signs?

SO being bored and limited to my internet activity I was looking at horoscopes and stuff and found, find out if your signs are compatible: here are some excerpts.

When Taurus and Libra come together in a love affair, it can be the unification of two halves of a whole. These two Signs are thought of as being karmically linked. They're both looking for security in a relationship and they share a love of art, poetry and culture. (Seems true except I really don't give a rats ass about culture)

Taurus appreciates Libra's charm; if stubborn Taurus doesn't get their way, diplomatic Libra is able to smooth things over and keep the peace. Libra appreciates the luxuries that sensual Taurus provides them. They also have much to teach one another: Libra can help Taurus see the different sides of a situation, and Taurus can help Libra overcome their notorious indecision. (Does that mean she's gonna be my sugarmama when I get out of the Navy? And see I'm supposed to be indecisive, not you.)

Both Taurus and Libra are ruled by the Planet Venus. These partners share a love of beauty, luxury, love and romance. Libra in particular is keen on balance; both partners have charming personalities and desire harmony in their personal relationships. Venus's influence can create problems as well, however; these two Signs can both tend toward laziness and snobbery. (Well we may be lazy but we're not that snobby, are we?)

Taurus is an Earth Sign and Libra is an Air Sign. Taurus gets through life relying on their innate practicality, while Libra relies on intellectual exploration. Taurus asks, ""How will this help me achieve my goals in life?"" Libra, on the other hand, focuses on intellectual stimuli, whether it's practical or not. Conflicts can arise in this relationship if Taurus seems too possessive or Libra seems too flirtatious and social. Sometimes they just don't quite understand where the other is coming from. If they want theirs to be a long-lasting relationship, they must learn to accept that their views of the world are different in tone and focus. (I don't think I am the one who's gonna be flirting, I may talk to people but people think that she is flirtier)

Taurus is a Fixed Sign and Libra is a Cardinal Sign. In general in this relationship, Libra initiates it and Taurus keeps it going. A Fixed Sign won't budge, and Libra needs to understand the Bull's stubborn tendency. With some gentle persuasion, anything is possible -- and there is no Sign more gifted at gentle, subtle persuasion and charm than Libra. On the other hand, Libra's indecision may irritate direct, to-the-point Taurus. As long as Taurus tones down the tendency to declare that their way is the only acceptable way to do or see something, Libra can accept Taurus's decisions. (Like the other night, I tried to make peace and she tried to keep it going)

What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Libra relationship? Their shared love of pleasure, beauty and culture. Aesthetics are integral to both partners, and their similar tastes and loves make theirs a relationship of great romance and harmony. (And we live happily ever after!)

What just happened....

I'm not sure if last night qualified as our first fight or not but just to be safe I changed my counter to HB has been stuck with me, since I don't know if I screwed up or not. I just know that I felt bad especially since I didn't know what I did. BUt we made up, and it was fun...really fun! I was writing and spelling everything out but then I decided that since she reads it she may not like everything spelled out for the world to see. Look at me, being considerate of what she may feel not even knowing for sure. But anyways. SO I thought that people looked at me funny when I was bumping in my minivan but I found out yesterday I get more and funnier looks when my trunk is bumping but then I roll down my windows a bit and have Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring inside. I just looked back at them and started head banging, it was funny. So my probation officer called me yesterday and said that he was coming by my apt today when I get off from work. He needs to inspect it or something so now when I go home I have to stash all my plants, hide my pills in asprin bottles, put the coke in flour containers, and whatever else I need to hide. It should be fun times. Ahhhhh, I'm starving again, today apparently the office is going to DAve and Busters for a CAPT's going away, so I will go and meet everyone. Today I got to play with some liquid nitrogen and learn some of the things I may do once in a while. I need to bring snacks in here, Where's my Uncle Tom with candy?! Where's the cookies or doughnuts that people brought in from time to time? Ok I need to go smoke to suppress my apetite.

New Command

SO yesterday and today I have been checking into my new command. Everyone seems nice enough but it's just not my usual crew. Although I do have a nice big desk and there is a window in the office. But I can't check my yahoo email. Luckily though I can still get to blogger! Sorry I've been busy and unable to blog lately. As usual I have been speding time with HB and things are still going great! I still haven't messed anything up and we still yet to have an actual fight or even argument. We talked about it the other day and both of us thought it was odd. I may have to do something stupid just so we can have a fight. I'm actually suprised I haven't yet...that's my thing....it's what I do. But suprisingly this morning I put on my uniform that I can't remember the last time I wore but I got it in boot camp 4 years ago and it still fit thankfully, though it is getting really snug around the stomach. But I'm not buying new ones, I just have to fit in it for one more year! I did however have to buy new boots since the ones for this uniform became my concert boots when I thought I'd never wear it again. Oh yeah I finally got new shoes to replace my stinky ones this weekend. HB say they look like old man ugly shoes, they are quite hideous but they don't have stings, you just slide them on, which is what I do anyway, the stings just get in the way. We also went and bought some new CDs since both of us were complaining of getting tired of the ones in our cars. I bought As I lay dying, Funeral for a friend, CKY, and she bought me the new Lynyrd Skynyrd "Thyrty" album, canowine, you'll have to burn it! And she got 30 seconds to mars, Fallout boy(sellouts), and Dane Cook. All in all pretty good music and Dane is hilarious! This is my first time to sit down all day from running around. I am starving to death and need to get in the habit of bringing lunch or else I'll be down eating subway, pizzahut, taco bell, or whatever else they have down there spending all my money. MMMMMMM grilled stuffed burrito, yeah I'm going down to get one, but also they said that it shouldn't be a problem for me coming in and leaving early so that's awesome. They asked me what I'm gonna do when I get out and I just kind of laughed. I said I'm gonna work at my other job for a year or two and then possibly travel. It depends on too many factors right now to say what's gonna happen. Does HB really want to reenlist and if so for how long, does she want to stay in this area or go back to texas, will she get fed up with me and dump me before we even get that far. Who knows, planning sucks anyway, it's not adventerous. Anytime I try to plan something it goes to shit. SO fuck it live life and have fun right, and I am always having fun with HB. Well time for my burrito.

P.S. The other enlisted guy who sits in front of me is actually taking a nap under his desk, I think I am really going to like this place!!

Layers, I don't see layers

LAYER ONE


Name: Randy
Birthdate: september
Birthplace: smalltown, Oh
Current Location: outside DC
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Really blonde when long, dirty when short
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Sun Sign: Libra, that's a sun sign?
Innie or Outtie: Innie


LAYER TWO


Your heritage: Irish, German, Native American
The shoes you wore today: My old ass beat up Vans, like always, I need new ones they stink
Your hair: Short, I think this is for girls now that I'm doing it
Your eyes: Bluish, didn't it already ask that
Your weakness: HB
Your fears: Heights a little
Your perfect pizza: pepperoni & mushroom
One thing you'd like to achieve: Have fun, be happy


LAYER THREE


Your most overused phrase on IM: lol, like evryone
Your first waking thoughts: NO NOT YET!!!!!!!!!
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Eyes, face in general
Your best physical feature: uhhh I guess my eyes...?
Your bedtime: When HB tells me to
Your greatest fear: Failure, you'd think I'd be used to it by now
Your greatest accomplishment: My son, probably the only thing good I ever did
Your most missed memory: ignorance of thinking that growing up would be an escape


LAYER FOUR


Pepsi or Coke: Coke, with Beam
McDonald's or Burger King: McDs, their everywhere
Single or group dates: Single though group takes the tension off
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Don't like tea, another reason HB and I can't marry
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino or coffee with ton of sugar


LAYER FIVE


Smoke: too much
Cuss: Like a sailor...oh yeah haha
Sing: Yes, but only when I'm drunk or in my car
Take a shower everyday: Depends on how lazy I feel
Have a crush(es): Kind of
Who are they: Who do you think
Do you think you've been in love: Am
Want to go to college: When I stop being lazy
Like high school: Eh, some good, some bad
Want to get married: Perhaps someday again
Believe in yourself: nope
Type with your fingers on the right keys: Never
Think you're attractive: Not really but I don't think I'm hideous
Think you're a health freak: HA, I left pork chops in my microwave for the past 3-4 weeks!
Get along with your parents: I do now
Play an instrument: I try to play guitar


LAYER SIX


In the past month, did you...Drink alcohol: Yeah but not near as much as I used to
Smoke: Duh, that's what I do
Do a drug: Not the past month
Make Out: Yep
Go on a date: Uh kind of this month
Eat an entire box of Oreos: No
Eat sushi: No
Been on stage: Not this month
Been dumped: Nope been lucky this month
Gone skating: No, need to get on the blades though
Made homemade cookies: HA
Been in love: Yep!
Gone skinny dipping: Not this month
Dyed your hair: Nope, not since I been in
Stolen anything: Not this month


LAYER SEVEN


Have you ever...Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yep
If so, was it mixed company: Yep
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Plenty of times, Zefyur's going away!
Been caught "doing something": Yeah, that was funny
Been called a tease: Every night
Gotten beaten up: Not really though was knocked out once
Shoplifted: Alot
If so, did you get caught: Almost once but I'm observant, people with radios work there it doesn't matter if they are wearin regular clothes, dumbasses!
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope, that's why I never fit in

LAYER EIGHT


Age you hope to be married: Was 30 but now don't know
Numbers and Names of Children: 1 Boy, Aaron Tyler
Describe your Dream Wedding: Uh a real wedding that will hopefully be my last
How do you want to die: Quick and maybe doing something cool, like sex
What do you want to be when you grow up: Still don't know
What country would you most like to visit: Ireland


LAYER NINE


Number of guys I have kissed: I don't know, I'm usually drunk
Number of boyfriends you've had: Just Chris and probably like 8 girlfriends or so
Number of drugs taken illegally: Can't count that high anymore
Number of people I could trust with my life: 4 depending on the situation
Number of CDs that I own: Not as many as I used to
Number of piercings: None anymore, had tongue, and lebrea(sp?)
Number of tattoos: 5 want more
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: A couple I made front page for uhhh, nevermind my name wasn't there they don't know who did it
Number of scars on my body: Too many to count hell I find new old ones
Number of things in my past that I regret: 1, getting married that I can think of

New morning routine and weird dreams

I really like my new morning routine that will only last for this week. Except for the part where I get up way too early since HB has to go to work. But I get up, get ready pour my cup of coffee, help her get the kid downstairs even though she carries like 4 bags and won't let me help carry them, so I walk with or carry Gabe, kiss goodbye and off in our seperate cars we go. Oh yeah if anyone is constipated coffee+2 cigarettes+2 10in speakers throwing bass+30 minute car ride=poop. I think it's the bass that really helps push it to the opening. So I get to my other job, punch in, grab a set of keys, come to my building open the front door, grab a coat hanger to beak through the second door (I have a key but it is on the 2nd key ring that I don't ever grab), come in turn on the computer, go out the second door I just broke in and climb a ladder to jump a wall to the second floor so I can get around a couple more locked doors(keys also on the other ring), get to the bathroom, then grab a coke, if none go to another building which I do have keys for and use a knife to break into the closet that they lock the cokes in, come back, check my email, comments, and other blogs, I sit on my ass for a while and then go to our storage thing to actually begin my work with radioactive waste. I could really get used to this, it's fun. Plus since I do have to get up early I get more hours which means more money!

So I'm gonna have to check a dream dictionary because I had 2 crazy dreams last night. First one involver a like 100ft python loose as I was walking to my grandma's house. I noticed part of it moving on the side of the road and then noticed part of it in front of me and then noticed it on the other side of me and when I turned around it was lunginging at me. I of course jumped out of the way. There were fucking discovery channel bastards videotaping me and wouldn't help. I eventually got into grandma's house and was safe. The snake coiled it's self around the back part of the house, where grandma thew food out for it. My grandma used to have all kinds of stray cats, raccoons, groundhogs and everything else she'd throw food out for. And eventually a cameraman got too close and was eaten and I laughed as I recorded it with my nifty new digicam.

I then woke up all sweaty, not from being scared but because the temp was like a hundred degrees and I was thirsty. I got up turned the heat down, got a drink and was back off to dreamland.

My next dream was odd I remembered it when I woke up, then forgot it, remembered when I was brushing my teeth and now forgot it again. I think it was something strange about god but all I really remember is riding on bikes with my dad and uncle from my grandma's house I had a cooler on the back of my bike. I think I had captured god or something and put him in it and we were riding somewhere. All these dreams about my grandma kind of scare me, I hope nothing happens, I will lose it. She is old and brittle and sick quite a bit but seriously I will go ape shit! I mean she was feeding the snake so that shouldn't be bad, I don't think she was in the cooler, though she'd probably fit in it. I don't know I'll look it all up.

Snake
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

Let's hope for the self-renewal part. I am pretty sure it's not the forbidden sexuality, I'm not Eve eating a fruit....that sounds kind of gross. ANyways I guess Happy Humpday, tonight I'm back to my ever exciting counseling, Yay! NOT!

New choices for a New Year

SO again, it's a new year and this is the year that choice are going to have to be made. This is my last year in the military. I still need to decide what I want to do with my life. Next week I will be checking into my new command. First up I need to decide what the hell I'm gonna do with my hair, it's gotten pretty long. I kind of like it cuz I don't have to do anything but put my hat on and it forms to my head, no gel needed. I'd just need to get the bottom cut, though I will probably go back to the same high and tight that I've had the past 3 years. I need to drop my uniforms off tomorrow to get my rank sewn on since I'll be wearing actual Navy uniforms again. I need to decide when I'm gonna start taking college courses and what in. I need to talk to my new command and find out if I ccan change my hours so I can keep my other job or else I won't be getting here until late which means I'd need to stay later and then probably not see HB during the week. It just seems like so much is changing this year, which actually it is. At least it's starting out on a pretty good start, I am happily in love, not an alcoholic anymore, practiced some pretty good self control while I was home even though my cousin tried to get me in trouble(wait that was last year, but still). I hope this year keeps going this smoothly for me. Hell if I had some more money and HB was happier I'd say life couldn't get any better, but that'd be a lie. Life can always be better. I'm a little saad to see other bloggers year not starting off good. HB, TG, Kelbel, Jasika, Branshine, ok well almost everyone I read or at least check whenever there is a computer near me. I hope things pick up for all of you. I may be sugarcoating my life a little but hell it's alot better than where I was for the most part of 2005. I just hope that I make all the right choices this year and my path keeps going uphill. I don't mind curves or bumps as long as it's still going up. Now I need to go stare at the mirror and decide what to do. First things first...lol. Happy Tuesday.

Happy Fuckin New Year!

Happy New Year, I tried to audioblog at 1 am but the taxi we were waiting on was lost and when I switched over forgot to actually post it but oh well. My camera is cool except when you are too close the flash makes your face this white, oh well. Hope everyone else is safe. Take care!