Down down down...

Hello world... its been a while. Life has been fairly shitty like usual, like I should have expected anything different. Work actually has not been too bad, except I only work 4 days a week so I don't make enough money to pay all my bills. I just finished all of my savings this month so now I am completely poor and don't know how I am gonna survive next month. Also I work with a chick 2 of the 4 days who is a piece of shit, she doesn't really work and it just annoys me knowing that she has a job, she should be fired and just pay me her salary too... I do all the work anyway! Speaking of chicks, there still are none, the one that was supposed to be moving up here, we were talking for a week or 2 and things were cool, then she stopped talking to me and thats been it. My cuz who she was supposed to move up here with said she hasn't heard from her either.

Whoever said money can't by happiness was a fool. The last several weeks while I watched my savings dwindle to nothing my depression has been rising. Everytime it does all I hear in the back of my head is that my life is worth $250,000. That would be enough to help my parents for a while and hopefully keep my son from going through this crap. Then its even worse to realize that your death could be what is best for your family. Obviously I have overcame these looming thoughts before and hopefully will again but it just sucks and its obviously a subject best not discussed. I usually burn thru my savings in summer but then start back in school and start adding back to it but this year I can't start fall classes because I have to wait for the school board to approve my application for nursing program and until that happens there are no classes for me to take. SO I am fucked! Lets see if and how I can get out of this hole...