Alcohol...

SO if you've read anything on this blog you know that I like alcohol. I enjoy drinking and when I drink a lot I do various dumb things that turn into great stories but also make me into an ass. Well here is what happened last weekend. My girlfriend and I have been fighting a bit, nothing really bad but whatever. So I was just drinking beer and watching football. I started to get more aggrivated so I switched to beam and cokes. Well I didn't eat anything all day and apparently she snapped at me and I snapped. I ran grabbed a bookbag and was trying to leave in my car while intoxicated and on snowy, icy roads. I made it less than a mile before spinning out into a ditch. She calls her brother and got me pulled out after I beat the shit out of the back of my car trying to shove it out of the snow. I get it back home and then I don't remember a whole lot. There was screaming, I punched out 2 windows, I slept in the snow face down until my face was blue, I puked on myself, got naked, got slapped, swung at her, missed, grabbed a piece of broken glass and held it to my neck, and eventually ended up in bed. Now normally this story is bad, what makes it worse is all this happened while 4 kids are locked in their rooms hearing it.

I know that the alcohol was mostly the problem but thats not usually the kind of drunk I am. I have also always had low blood sugar, and being in the medical field I've always heard of low blood sugar making people crazy, but I would usually just feel funny and sometimes pass out. I guess with the mix it turned into the fiasco that was that night. The part that hurts me the most is that I swung at her even if I didn't hit her, I tried to.... And that her kids heard all that shit. I don't even know what I was screaming but she said it was bad.

I haven't decided yet if I am going to not drink anymore or just not get drunk anymore. I do very much enjoy a good beer with a meal every now and then or a cold one while watching fights or just with friends. I know that I am too old to be pulling that shit and acting like a fucking child. SO I think I'm not gonna drink for quite a while and guess we'll see what happens. She was kind enough to forgive me knowing that I was sorry and would never mean to hurt her or scare her kids. I apologized to everyone and just need to relax.