So the new job is going well so far, we'll see what I think after tonight though. The past 2 nights I have had someone there with me and tonight will be my first night on my own. I pretty much just hang out with a 40 some year old guy with mental handicap. It is pretty easy so far but I have been warned about when he blows up to watch out. He was acting up a bit yesterday and getting temperamental and trying to push my buttons. No different than my son except this guy could hurt me if he wanted, they said hes never hit anyone but still theres always a first time for anything. School has been going pretty good still, except I hate Biology which I have tomorrow, I don't remember if I went into it on here about how much of a stupid douchebag my teacher is or not. Last week I was really close to getting up and just beating the shit out of him for being a dumbass and pissing everyone off. I am sure if I would have gotten up and initiated it, the rest of the class would have followed. It was bad. He knows nothing and can only teach what he knows. He is not a people person and I want to make it my goal to get him fired if I had more time! But between school, work, hanging out with my girlfriend and my son and him playing soccer and flag football all my time is pretty well consumed at the moment. Although I have figured out that I have about an hour between school and work and since work is closer to school than home I will start working out at the gym at school in between. So thats one perk, the last 2 days I went straight from school to work only to sit in my car and try to take a nap until it was time to go in, he doesn't get home until 330 and we can't really clock in until 315 so I just sat. Going to be a busy weekend, gotta go get the keg tomorrow, get the kid tomorrow, have a small family get together I guess, then Saturday gotta take the kid for soccer, then drop him off with his mom and go start getting fucked up!! Then sometime I need to write a psychology paper thats due Monday. I would work on it today but I am busy doing all my Biology shit thats due tomorrow that I have no clue on what to do because as I said my teacher is an idiot! But whatever. I've been debating about how much of an ass to be on my Bday, I have to make it memorable since the last 3 have been, I need to keep the streak going... 22-was on stage at a strip club in front of people I worked with and striped and spanked, 23- Was almost shot going to dinner with Chris, DQ, and Zefyurs girl, 24-was the getaway with HB. See we got some good and bad mixed in there, I guess I'll start tame and if it starts to get too boring, I'll probably have to pick a fight with someone. CF was been trying to do way to much for this thing, she was going to drive to PA to get me some Yuengling but then ended up haveing to work so she tried to order it online but they called and said they couldn't send it or someshit, shes gonna pay for the keg which I suggested and was going to buy since its at her house and will probably get kinda trashed. She keeps talking about getting me something else. I feel like a dick, my son keeps asking about the last chicks little girls and when he can go play with them again. I had to tell him they are with their dad cuz I don't talk to her anymore, she was still pissed at me or something so I said whatever. I am afraid of this happening with CF too, it's not gonna work, but I think with her maybe we will still be able to be friends and hopefully the kids can still hang out. Who the hell knows. I just gotta keep on being honest to her and myself and see what happens. Well back to the homework...Yay! NOT!!

Quicky...

Just kind of a quick update. I had my 2 day orientation for the new job, it still seems cool, but it sucks I had to get my TB shot again and get it read before I can find out when I start actually working, I got the shot Tuesday and have to get it read today so I can finally call and hopefully start working soon as shit because I am broke as a joke and my bills are piling again! The fucking GI Bill is still fucking with me, they say I am only a 3/4 time student even though I have enough credits to be a full time student, full time would pay me an extra 200 a month which obviously I could really use! I keep telling myself that once I get the money from them things will start to get better cuz I wasn't making shit as a cook, barely enough to pay my car payment and insurance let alone my utilities and shit. But fuck it, I am trying, not much I can really do at the moment, I was trying to look for a guy strip club to see if they had amature night, I'd get drunk and go shake my wee wee for some money! WHo knows maybe I'd find a new carrer. Things with CF have still been going pretty good, shes been getting some drama from her ex but she just kinda gets upset for a couple minutes and shes right back to being happy and in a good mood, I wish I could do that shit. I don't remember if I mentioned it before but we are having a kegger at her house for my Bday, it should be fun as hell, I wanna teach my dad to play beer pong, I think that would be funny as shit. Speaking of my dad I need to go help him finish putting a roof on the garage, we tore it off yesterday. But figured I'd drop a line.

I had to say something...

So shortly after my last post, I went to work for my last day which was nice and short and pretty easy. I need to giver her a nickname or something now so lets go with.... CF cuz I am running out of nicknames I'll just use her initials, so CF is the girl from the previous post not to be confused with CG from a while ago. SO CF came up to work to see me, and before she left she asked if I got her text, I said no cuz I keep the ringers off at work and she said to check it when I got a chance. She sent me a text to ask me if I would go out with her, so being the smart ass I am I say where to buy me more time and she just said steady, I told her I'd call her after work. So I discussed my situation with my co-workers. Shes cool and everything but I'm still unsure about a relationship status, I mean I am not really a player or anything, if I am talking to or "seeing"(but not dating) someone, I am not usually making out with another chick or anything. So some of the guys at work made me see that it is pretty much the same thing except with a label. SO whats the big deal about a label, its not like marriage or moving in together or anything. So I called her and we hung out and I kept giving her shit about asking me out in a text and never actually gave her an answer. And what is the deal with women thinking sex and love go hand in hand.... HB told me she loved me while we were having sex for the first time, that I didn't mind because I was already in love with her... but last night after sex CF kinda mumbled something and I asked what and she just says I don't know if I can tell u yet and I am hoping to god that it was "I love you" and not that she has aids or clamidia or some shit like that! Just kiding I am 98% sure it was I love you, and if she does say it, I cannnot say it back. That makes me feel I am fucking with her emotions which I am not. I am far from ready to jump into another long term relationship, right now I just like hanging out, I enjoy her company, I don't mind being called her boyfriend or vise versa, but I am not to that level, maybe I will someday but right now I am not looking to plan a future with anyone! But yeah thats the case so far....

Here we go again....

So yeah, I started talking to this girl. Its weird cuz around here a lot of faces look familiar and I think I should know them, well she was kind of one of them but we didn't go to school together or anything so it wasn't that, then eventually she heard my last name. Well a long long time ago, My uncle went to her school(he is only a couple years older than me) I went to one of his football games and met this cheerleader and a band chick, I ended up making out with the band chick, well this chick was the cheerleader. I was like wow, thats funny. But she is really cool, she has 2 kids. I don't know what the deal is with all these chicks with 2 kids but whatever. A boy whos 7 I think and girl whos 10 or somewhere like that. I met them yesterday the girl was good but the boy had some temper and anger problems. He punched his sis in the face like 3 times. It was crazy. But the way I see it, its not like I'm going to move right in or anything so I'm thinking about giving her a shot. We went out the other night and had fun and hung out and stuff and the only thing that kind of bothered me is that she said she was nervous about meeting me again and stuff and about the butterflies in her stomach... I didn't have any butterflies and I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I mean I didn't go expecting anything other than meeting up with someone I knew a long time ago. She really digs me and I don't know what I think. Shes cool, she's not bad looking, shes good company, she talks quite a bit but not too much just enough to fill in since I don't talk a lot. I guess only time will tell. Just hang out and hope its stays cool like this. I am making her throw me a Bday party, shes got a preety nice house so I told her shes having a party.

On a different note today is my last day as a cook, I was supposed to have my orientation for my other job last Thurday but the changed it to this coming Thurs, so I got like 3 days off til then, I'll still have school but it will be kinda relaxing. Though I really need the money, I am running on change! And more bills keep coming in, I have no clue when I am gonna get my money for going to school but it needs to be soon!

As of late

So I was filling out another dumb myspace survey the other day while I was bored and it asked about a best friend, it kinda depressed me, I don't have a best friend anymore, hell I guess Dan here is my best friend, this blog is all I tell everything to anymore and he at least gives me some general comments back. Something about this place, I mean I have friends that I tell certain things to but I don't really have anyone who I can tell everything to without fear of being judged anymore. I don't remember the last time I talked to Chris but when I tried it was just het how are things, good, and general bullshit and that was it. He's probably better friends with HB now anyway since his wife and her are friends and they live closer and shit. It is sad though. I have been doing good, I am more comfortable with myself and everything and don't really care what happens, I know I am going to survive and be ok, but I miss having that one person who you can bear your darkest secrets with. I had Chris then he left and I had HB but now theres no one, I mean my closest and the person I trust the most is SM's brother who I've been hanging out with maybe once a month or so, I feel good talkin with him but thats few and far in between too, plus he just found out his girlfriend is pregnant and shit so I doubt he'll be going out much. The guys from work we just drink and BS there isn't real deep conversation there. I really miss CHris!! We were like brothers on the same lines, we had the fucked up sense of humor and yet we were the "nice guy" who always got fucked over. He tried to help me out with HB but I just kinda ignored it, I mean I tried but with all the other shit that was happening, I just got fucked up. Oh well ther I go dwelling on the past again. I have been doing great on not really thinking about that shit except I have been trying to write a couple songs. I thought about posting them on here but I doubt it, one of these days when I am off Wednesday or Thurday I am going to try to put the lyrics to a melody and play some shit on my guitar. I really want to start or be in a band, all I need is the talent and well someone to teach me how to play better. I work on my voice everyday in my car, I have got the screaming to sound a lot better and I think the vocal parts have been getting better toi, it really has helped to quit smoking, I can hear the difference from before. But whatever, I need to go to bed soon cuz I got school early tomorrow.