As of late

So I was filling out another dumb myspace survey the other day while I was bored and it asked about a best friend, it kinda depressed me, I don't have a best friend anymore, hell I guess Dan here is my best friend, this blog is all I tell everything to anymore and he at least gives me some general comments back. Something about this place, I mean I have friends that I tell certain things to but I don't really have anyone who I can tell everything to without fear of being judged anymore. I don't remember the last time I talked to Chris but when I tried it was just het how are things, good, and general bullshit and that was it. He's probably better friends with HB now anyway since his wife and her are friends and they live closer and shit. It is sad though. I have been doing good, I am more comfortable with myself and everything and don't really care what happens, I know I am going to survive and be ok, but I miss having that one person who you can bear your darkest secrets with. I had Chris then he left and I had HB but now theres no one, I mean my closest and the person I trust the most is SM's brother who I've been hanging out with maybe once a month or so, I feel good talkin with him but thats few and far in between too, plus he just found out his girlfriend is pregnant and shit so I doubt he'll be going out much. The guys from work we just drink and BS there isn't real deep conversation there. I really miss CHris!! We were like brothers on the same lines, we had the fucked up sense of humor and yet we were the "nice guy" who always got fucked over. He tried to help me out with HB but I just kinda ignored it, I mean I tried but with all the other shit that was happening, I just got fucked up. Oh well ther I go dwelling on the past again. I have been doing great on not really thinking about that shit except I have been trying to write a couple songs. I thought about posting them on here but I doubt it, one of these days when I am off Wednesday or Thurday I am going to try to put the lyrics to a melody and play some shit on my guitar. I really want to start or be in a band, all I need is the talent and well someone to teach me how to play better. I work on my voice everyday in my car, I have got the screaming to sound a lot better and I think the vocal parts have been getting better toi, it really has helped to quit smoking, I can hear the difference from before. But whatever, I need to go to bed soon cuz I got school early tomorrow.