Boredom

I am bored. What else is new? It seems I always am. Last night was kinda fun, I picked my son up and then went to study with my EMT class. My son had fun playing with the other peoples kids, they are all around the same age, and we studied for a while then just kinda goofed around taking pics and stuff. It was fun. Today though we have just been running around seeing the grandparents since I worked last weekend for easter and didn't get to see everyone. It boring, we go there make small talk and watch tv. I'd rather do it at home, then my son gets bored and starts whinning and moping around, gives me a good reason to leave though I guess. Now he's watching Rattatouilli or whatever, gives me a littloe break, I hate watching those movies, but I'll suffer for a while just so we can lay and watch it together and I try to take a nap but he usually won't let me. Tonight I am going to a friends house for a party, hopfully it'll be fun. It sucks never having weekends to myself, but I usually don't go until my sons in bed. It would be a whole lot easier if my parents would just come upstairs and watch tv while he sleeps but no, they want him to stay downstairs. Then I feel bad cuz he knows I am going somewhere even though its after his bedtime. He told me last weekend that he wanted to come with me every weekend, I hope I get a good EMT job after I get my certification so I don't have to work weekends, then he can come every weekend and then when I want to go out or something it will be easier, he could stay wome a weekend or something. But its not like I do much, I don't really care to go out. I don't wanna really drink, I have a couple now and then but I don't wanna sink to where I was before again. I need to find a way to meet some chicks or something!! No one has any cute single friends!It sucks ass! My whole EMT class, we always end up talking bout sexual shit, its funny, the stories we tell, plus we educate each other on different tips and stuff...lol. One lady is in her 40s and I told her bout when her husband was going down on her for him to push on her femoral artery, she said that it felkt good...lol, teaching older ladies new tricks... But yeah, I guess I should get back to the rat movie. Someone needs to call the thing on my sidebar and leave me a message, I don't feel loved. I think it has a thing for different countries!! LAters...

New addition

To the left there you may notice a new element. My cuz found this site and added it to his myspace, I decided to add it to my myspace and here. Feel free to leave me a message, love to hear from everyone, you can remain annonomous!

I'm back and still alive

SO I just got back from my trip a couple hours ago. It was pretty boring but was good. So I left Monday night after I got off at 11pm. I drove 4 hours and just made it to Kentucky by 3 or so and pulled to a rest area and slept in my car for 4 hours. It was pouring rain that didn't let me sleep too well. Then finished my drive, it was nice that it kept getting warmer as I was driving, when I left Ohio it was 33 degrees and there was a little bit of snow on the ground. It stopped raining after driving about an hour. North Carolina sucked, it was curvy as hell, I was pretty sure that I was gonna come around a curve and hit a pile of stopped cars cuz you could only see 100 yards ahead of you. In South Carolina I saw a Yuengling Truck!! I had to take a pic from the car. It was so beautiful, I could taste it!! I stopped for gas and saw it!! I couldn't wait to get to Tybee Island Georgia and get one! SO I got there about 5pm or so. I went to the beach, it was windy as hell!! but it was 73 degrees and felt pretty good! The whole island u have to pay for parking year round though from 8am-8pm. I walked round the beach for a while and then drove round the island finding where the bars were and try to find things to do. There wasn't a whole lot to do there. I started at one bar, it had a cute bartender I kept trying to talk to but she kept bailing on me to hang out and talk with the locals who were all old. But I ordered a Yuengling, they didn't have any!! They said I had to go to South Carolina or Florida!! I was pissed!! So I jumped around to the other bars who also only had old locals there and older ugly bartenders, so I went back to the first bar and kept trying and failed miserably. So I went back to the beach, I set up on a swing and played my guitar for a while as the sky kept getting darker. A fucking couple was walking on the beach adn stopped and was dancing in front of me, I was bout to throw something at them. Fucking people, I am sitting there alone but managing to meditate playing my guitar and staring at the beautiful ocean, the moon dancing in and out of the clouds and it all gets ruined by a happy fucking couple enjoying my misery!! I went up onto the pier and felt alone in the world, thought some more and then returned to my guitar for my sleep. My sleep was disturbed a few times by drunks coming to the beach and yelling in the parking lot where I was parked. Plus my tall ass doesn't fit well and it doesn't help that I toss and turn when I sleep. But I awoke Wednesday nice and early to get some pics and enjoy the sun rise. It was cold and windy, I had to wear my jacket for a while. It warmed up pretty quickly though. I spent most the morning just walking up and down the beach, eventually I stripped down to my swim shorts and lied down to get some sun, apparently I already got enough from walking. I got burnt a little and have bra lines from my wife-beater and a line from wearing my hat and sun glasses. And while I was walking I got a parking ticket for not paying to park because I never saw anyone checking, it was only 20 though. At the bar the tv kept talking about a huge storm heading for the area so I caved in and got a motel room. It felt great to lie down and stretch and get off my feet!! I lounged and watched tv and ordered pizza. When I went to sleep at 10, it was only sprinkling outside, I don't know if a big storm hit or not, I was out cold!! But in my room the weather channel was talking about the winter storm that is supposed to hit here tonight, so I decided to leave thursday to start coming home. I went back and hung around the beach for a while in the morning, it was cold as hell adn windy than the first day so I left around 11 am. I stopped in South Carolina and bought a shitload of Yuengling!!! North Carolina made me offically hate it! I didn't like all the curves the first time and on the way back through it was a parking lot on a mountain!! It took an hour and a half to go the last 10 miles cuz it had one lane closed for repair. Luckily I didn't get mad since I had plenty of time, instead I sang my voice alomost out and thought about things like do dead people still caryy AIDS or Hepatitis after they've been embolmed and since Jews can't be buried in Jewish cemetaries if they have tattoos, what about the ones who Nazis tatted? I have my buddy working to figure out the latter and I will ask about the former in school Tuesday. So I made it to Knocksville, Tennessee by 5 or 6 pm and found a bar, which had Yuengling on tap!!!! They have it there but not in Ohio or Georgia!! I am gonna look at their website in a bit to find out why! But found a sports bar and again no hotties!! I was disappointed but not as bad since they had my beer! SO I had a couple then was off to find a rest area to sleep at, I ended up driving all the way to Kentucky, I think it was 50 miles or so before I could sleep. It sucks sleeping cramped in a car with a sunburn by the way. Then left about 8 and got breakfast and was off. I got home around 3pm. And that was my trip. No excitment but then again I wouldn't have had any sitting here either, at least I gotta sit on the beach for a while. And I learned that if you go somewhere off season, go somewhere with more people that way you can still find people your age. I should have settled for Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, but live and learn. It was relaxing.

Post break up Myspace

So as we all know random thoughts go through my head all the time... Here's what was just running through my head while shaving my balls(why did I put this...who knows). But when was the last time I spoke of CF here? Did I finish the story? SO we split and "stay friends" until she got with her new boyfriend. So whatever shes got a boyfriend. Well she drops me from her friends list on myspace, when I notice and go to add her again, thinking it was an accident, I notice her default pic is from my bday party! A pic of her and her new boyfriend from MY bday party. How fucked up is that. Well she can't be my friend on myspace or in real life because he is jealous, because he knows she still wants me or whatever. But wait it still gets better, he got a new job in Arizona and she is going to move with him, I think her kids are staying here with their dad, but not too sure... but he moved there early, after he left she is texting me asking me to hang out and come to her going away party thing. WHatever, I am not dealing with anyone with a jealous boyfriend, look back about 3 years to New years girl, I haven't seen or heard from her since her boyfriend refused to let her speak to me... And we had been friends since we were like 13 or whatever. So I told her to run away from her problems and forget about me... But then had me think about when HB and I broke up and she deleted me from her friends list, I asked her to change her screen name, HB Hot Brownie, was a name that Uncle Tom and I came up with, it was like my pet name for her or whatever, and it bothered me thinking that some other guys were calling her a name I gave her or whatever... looking back on it maybe I was overacting or something but it did really bother me... I don't know why. But I think the pic from my bday party trumps it. Lets see whos next and what she can do to trump it? I think it'll be a pic with her, me and the new boyfriend... Only time will tell.

But I am stoked about my vacation coming!!!!! I am starting to feel a little better, I have been sick the past couple days. Did I mention Thursday my grandpa had a lobe (1/3) of his right lung removed, cuz he had cancer. I think I did cuz I remember saying he didn't smoke.... I get confused, someday I'll have to actually look back and read what I've posted instead of always being confused on what I've put on here and on myspace... It's a crazy double life I lead... Damn addictions!!

Dead bodies and affairs...

I hate homework!! On the up side, I got to play with a dead body today. We had a cadaver lab for my EMT class, we got to play with some of the organs and stuff, it was a little freaky at first cuz the head was chopped off and sawed in half. But after poking it a bit and talking about it we all got pretty comfortable passing the heart around and digging into to play with the lungs and stuff. It was interesting, I haven't been around dead people since USU, where they were all across the hall from my office. But I am again procrastonating doing homework. I wrote one paper and should be starting on the 2 others I have to do that are do after spring break, which is next week. I guess I am weird(well duh) people are freaked out when I tell them I am going to Georgia alone for spring break. They ask why there? I said cuz its a warm beach, do you know anyone there? nope. Who's going with you? no one. Do you have reservations? Nope going to sleep on the beach or in my car. They just kinda look at me. My luck it is going to suck and be lonely and boring, but you know what, those are the exact feelings I will be feeling here, I might as well go on an adventure and hope maybe something will happen.
I think the EMT chick is having an emotional affair with me... We text all the time, everyday like hundreds of them. Yesterday she was asking why I am single, I am sexy and cool, and this and that. I said because women are blind!! Ans I am just shy and don't go out and meet anyone. I asked when she was gonna hook me up with someone as hot and cool as her. She starts telling me if her boyfriend doesn't start treating her better she's gonna leave him. And all this shit about him. Here's the thing, in general... people shouldn't be in relationships they are not happy in. Yes they have ups and downs but if in general you are not happy, end it, don't prolong the suffering. This is a mistake I made with the exwife, I was miserable liek the entire time pretty much. But I mean she shouldn't be putting herself or me in this situation. I've thought about it quite a bit because of our discussions. Her and I reguardless will never have a future because I think emotional cheating is just as bad as cheating. Hb and I got into an argument about it before, she called an old friend or someone sexy and this and/or that on a myspace comment and I happened to see it cuz he commented back and I clicked his profile to see who he was. Now granted it could have simply been a compliment, I have been called sexy a couple times just as, but that could just as easily be lusting for someone else(who is not a movie star you will probably never meet or see) and turn into an affair of some type. To me to lust about someone within ur reach is pretty much as bad as acting on it. WHile I was with her, I thought chicks were hot but I never thought "I'd like to fuck her" or make out with her or whatever. I don't know cheating is a big thing that I dispise with a passion!! To me there is a thing as emotional cheating and more than likely it will lead to physical cheating. I am not tooting my own horn here, because I in most cases will lack confidence, but I am fairly confident that if I could get her to come over here and hang out or just me and her went out somewhere I could get her to make out with me. But I am not that kind of person, because I like her as a person and don't want to fuck her over like that, even though her boyfriend has cheated on her and all that shit. Retaliation doesn't help you feel better. I almost want to call it drama, but since our scedules clash, we have just kept it to flirting via text. I think that completes my bitching for now. I need to do another paper!

Sick Puppies!!

So last night I went up to a concert in Toledo. It was an awesome show! My cousin was supposed to go with me but he took a nap and wouldn't wake up, he works first shift. SO I went on by myself. First band was a local one called Beyond this Point. They were pretty decent, nothing too great but not bad. They had some technical difficulties, with mics fading in and out. They did some screaming and stuff and had some mosh pits going. Next up was Saving Abel, I am not putting up links cuz I am tired and going to bed soon! But look them up, they were a great band from the south, they had an awesome song called "Addicted" that was the best, its about fucking! Next up was Dropping Daylight, I have heard of them before but don't recall ever hearing any of their music. They were also really good. They said that every night on the tour they play a different new song live, we got to experience one that I unfortunately don't remember the name of. They have a new CD coming out Tomorrow that I will probably pick up and I suggest you do the same. Also they did a cover of Journey's "Don't stop believin" that kicked fucking ass!! I called my cousin because he loves Journey! Oh yeah a guy behind me asked me to mosh, I said no and he ended up raming into me anyway, I almost lost it, I grabbed him and threw him to the ground but then I caught myself and helped him up. On the plus side he got me closer to the stage and more centered. Last but positivly not least was Sick Puppies!! The sounded great live! Was full of energy, except Emma, she is hot as hell but she seemed bleak and it kinda bothered me. She didn't look up much, I didn't see her smile at all. But Shimon was defiantely in a good mood and constantly was talking to the crowd and made eye contact and gave me five a couple times, I had my hat off, maybe it was cuz I am startin to look kinda like him, my hair is pretty land and looks like his now. But they also did a cover.... I bet you wouldn't be able to guess what in a million years.... give up.... "SAy my name" destiny's child. I'm not sure you can call it a cover, more a rock remix, but it was funny and sounded better than the original to me, but I love ROCK! I was getting a little irritated cuz there was a guy on the wall in frint of me who kept getting pissed about people pushing up on him... We all hate it but deal with it!! He was shoving this chick behind him into a pit and snapped her head back, I was about to punch him in the face but then just turned my attention back to the stage trying to keep out of trouble and just enjoy the great rock show! I only had 2 beers towards the beginning. I was proud of myself for that and for not starting any trouble... here's some pics...


Saving Abel

Dropping Daylight

Emma from Sick Puppies

Shimon from SIck Puppies

The epitomy of hottness

New Tat!

I have been wanting something of a heart with a sword and dagger but I thought it would look kinda gay but then I stumbled onto this drawing by Derek Hess called the Valentine...


SO part of the story is since my sleeve is about my emotions and stuff and I didn't get my heart on over there, I needed my heart on my sleeve. ANd obviously I am damaged... The sword and dagger kinda come from Silversteins lyrics "your sword vs my dagger" and they represent the 2 major traumas that my heart experienced thus far. The sword was the ex wife who as we all know took everything, my whole life... everything I worked hard as hell to get all my furniture and most importantly my son. Even though we didn't get along all that well for most of the relationship she still did me dirty as hell the way it ended and cleaning out my bank account on top of it! And of course the dagger is HB, which I am not going to rehash everything but as I keep saying, it'll be hard to find someone to replace her. My tat guy didn't really like the idea because the drawing was so sketchy he didn't think he could do a good job, he kept sketching it and didn't like the way it looked and tried to get me to change my mind but of course I usually don't when I get my head on something. I picked one of his sketches and said that was perfect, he said he didn't know. He was just afraid of it looking like shit, hes kinda a perfectionist but when he put the stensil on my arm he said he thinks it will work. He ended up likin it and I love it. So here's a pic and Silverstein Lyrics below it.



Silverstein "Your Sword vs My Dagger"
I'm cutting through
You’re bleeding out
And I would tell the truth
But I can’t help myself

red rushes out, dissect this nerve
And I will stop myself
Before I reach my cell

I wasn’t asking for the world
And I know that I’m not one to follow through

All these city streets
The people look the same
And I can see your face
And I can hear your name
I wasn’t asking for the world

Your stabbing in
permanent scars
And you’ll justify
it all inside yourself
You’ve finishED me
my pulse is gone
And you're satisfied to put this all to hell
I wasn’t asking for the world
And I know that I’m not one to follow through

All these city streets
The people look the same
And I can see your face
And I can hear your name
I wasn’t asking for the world

Drink the poison when you think it’s over
Stabbing yourself when you think it’s too late
Tragic endings are your thing
You love them
You love letting go
The endings the same
Drink the poison when you think it’s over
inevitable, Verona lives inside of you

I wasn’t asking for the world
And I know that I’m not one to follow through
All these city streets
The people look the same
And I can see your face
And I can hear your name
I wasn’t asking for the world