Cabin Fever!

I am in one of my moods, where I usually get myself in trouble. I think I have cabin fever or something. I am just going crazy. This is the feeling I used to get before I'd go out and get drunk and do stupid shit. I've been thinking about calling up my cousin and getting some illegal substances, why the fuck not I might as well fucking escape my reality for a little while. But no I have to resist. I've thought about buying some Beam and just chugging, but no I don't need to be doing that either. I've thought about going up to the bar but then I'll probably get drunk and since I am alone and feeling like this I'd probably start a fight. It sucks, I hate this fucking feeling. I am restless but have no one to talk to or anything to do. I've been surfing the internet almost all day. I went walking around town earlier. I tried to call my only 2 friends who were at work to hold my own intervention, they just got off and 1 said he was too tired and the other is workin overtime. I've played my guitar for like 2 1/2 hours, my fingers are killing me, and my hand is cramped. I was hitting my punching bag earlier.

While I was walking, I was thinking bout the past. I oredered new rollerblades online since my old ones broke, they should be here next week and I will probably be rollerblading around town all night. Its nice out! But anyways I walked by places I used to shred up when I was younger, the coffee shop I used to hang out at, the places uptown that used to be cool to hang out at, the eternal flame me and a buddy put out, and thought about how I always go through cycles of only a few friends. I know I need more, I can't always rely on the 2 I got but, they are good ones. They don't do drugs, they drink but not a lot, they keep me out of most trouble, where most of my older friends kinda fed into it. I don't know. I think I'm gonna go for another walk and prob stop up at the bar and maybe have a drink, maybe it will calm me down a bit. What the hell else am I gonna do. I haven't been sleepin well. Hopefully I won't get into trouble. I need to get my blades quick so I can burn off this energy!! Walking isn't as fun!

**update**

So I went for my walk and stopped up at the bar, there were some people from high school, no one I really got along with, no hot chicks so I got 1 drink and then kept walking. I ended up at the library. It is an old fort from the Indian days, there are 2 cannons that sit on the hill, facing the rivers, 2 rivers meet right there. The area has been underwater quite a bit this year. We even made CNN! Looking at the old cannons where everone has carved stuff into, even I had a couple times, I decided that I am gonna get a white out pen and a marker and I am gonna start tagging things with this website. Why not? Most anyone who will come will probably be teenagers, hopefully not the stupid ones. I have been trying to be somewhat of a mentor to all my younger cousins, let them know that even though things seem dire at that age, its not the end of the world. Life isn't all smiles and sunshine for me either, but its not worth moping around or hurting youyrself over, you know. Who knows maybe I can help other youths. But thats my plan of attack for now... And I stayed out of trouble!