Where is my mind...

My brain has been on vacation for some time now... And while it is away my body has been exibiting signs of depression. I have been having a hard time sleeping, I stay up til usually around 3, doing absolutly nothing. Nothing is on TV after 12, so I play games or surf myspace on the computer. I eat about 1 meal a day with a snack, which is a great contrast to my usual stuffing of my face, the meals I eat are usually a TV diner and a ramen noodle pack and about 3 liters of water. I don't really do anything all day, I get out of bed sometime between 11 and 2, go watch TV, try to work out but only end up doing some crunches, maybe lift my dumbells, then go back to TV. I haven't really felt depressed, I really haven't felt anything other than boredom. I pick up my guitar and play the same chords and little things over and over again. I have been craving alcohol and other drugs, I just wanna get fucked up, at least make not doing anything into an adventure or something. But as long as I don't leave my house I am unable to get my hands on such substances... I am not too much of a shut in, I went out Sat to watch UFC with my buddy and kept my cool, only had 3 beers and talked to a couple girls(nothing really interesting)... DUI is not the way I want to break the monotony, and as for the drugs, my luck after I poped or smoked anything is when I would get a call for an EMT job and not be able to pass a piss test, because that is my luck! But damn I have been out of the military for over a year and still haven't got stoned! At least I can stay strong in something.

But today was my sons last day of school, so I gotta call tomorrow and figure out when he's gonna come stay with me for the summer. I need to get some better food in the house for him, and will have to be getting up earlier to get him breakfast. Hopefully that will pick me up and get my mind back from its vacation.