Alcohol meeting

I have been trying to post this since yesterday, luckily I copied it before I hit publish.

SO today I had to go for my screening of what level of alcohol counseling I have to go through because of my alcohol incident(DUI). I was very nervous especially when I started filing out the papers. All kinds of really messed up questions that unless you really really needed help or wanted out of the military you wouldn't answer truthfully. The I had to meet with a counselor guy, who by the way was extremely awesome. SO this guy was only an E-5, but super smart, had to be a psycologist or something. He kept trying to trick me and make me contradict myself, at least it seemed. He threw in little jokes and small talk too. I want to start off by saying I am in no way a liar, I just seem to have a gift of convincing myself and others who are usually authoritarians of a different version of the truth to avoid conflict. Anyway, I stuck to my story and though he did find some flaws such as I only had 4 beers the night of my DUI, he asked how tall I was andd how much I weighed and looked at his chart to find out I had at least 7. I quickly recovered by, they were glasses and may have held more than a normal bottle of beer and the people I met were buying them so I wasn't really keeping count of how many I had. Then was asking if I was tipsy, drunk or what. It is hard to describe a feeling of drunkeness by these words though. SO I eventually said I was drunk and had poor judgement which caused me to think I could drive the 2 blocks back to base. After some more grueling questions and some little jokes, such as:
him:How well do you think under pressure, I will ask you a couple questions and I want you to say the anwer 5 times.
me: depends on the problem and what the pressure is, ok
h: what color is this paper
m: white white white white white
him and me repeat several times
h: what do cows drink
m: milk milk milk milk milk
him and me mix them up several times, then he writes both answers on a piece of paper.
m:(smack myself in the forehead) water water water water water, but calfs drink milk.
h:(laughs) I didn't say calfs, I said cows.
m: I heard that one a long time ago and fell for it then too, damnit!

SO at the end he runs through my sheet and asks me if I think I have a problem and I say no. He looks at his sheet and me for a couple minutes, while I am sweating. He says according to his papers I have an alcohol dependancy and because of my DUI that makes me an alcohol abuser, what do you think. I say that I made a bad mistake and I know I will have to suffer consequences for my actions. He asked what I thought I needed, I said nothing. he says that I can't leave with nothing and that he really didn't think I had a problem either. He gave me a choice of 3 days a week for 4 weeks attending an AA type meeting or a 3 day, all day alcohol education thing. I said the 3 day. At the end he says "someone either preped you real good on what to say here or your a great actor or perhaps you really are sincere." to which I replied "I wish I was a good actor maybe then I could be rich" I left thinking he was really smart and seemed really cool, I should have asked him if he wanted to go get a couple beers and bullshit, when I told a buddy that he replied that I should add on there that I'd drive...lol. OK well that's my fabulous day now I suppose I should get to work since they are paying me.