so yeah....

Sorry about the little explosion the other day. I don't really have anyone to vent my feelings or frustrations to anymore. There are quite a few of them but it seems everyone else has bigger problems to worry about than me. My cousin is fucking broke, his car broke and everything else is going wrong with him. Chris is never around and we don't seem to talk anymore. The couple guys I hang out with, I don't bring up anything but I am broke. People keep giving me shit because I am broke and can't afford to pay my bills next month but I have spent 370 bucks on my tat this month. But at this point I really don't give a fuck. I have been worse off and the past couple years I have been doing really good, I can recover, I fucking deserve to spend money on myself. SO this chick I have been hanging out with is fucking crazy... I don't know really what her deal or angle is... We talked at first about being friends and shit, then decided on fuck buddies, she kinda has a boyfriend that lives in Florida and will be moving up here next year or some shit. Whatever, then she starts talking about she really liked me and all this, so I started kinda feeling like a dick cuz I like her but not that much, you know. Well so she still talks to Florida and tells him she loves him and all this shit. Cool, I don't care. Well I think it was last weekend or the one before, we went and saw a couple bands, well she got trashed...bad. She was drunk dialing people and screaming they had a small dick and she was hooking up with me and shit. I can deal with that I know she hadn't drank in a while and was blowing steam or whatever. Well she is pretty hot and has guys hitting on her constantly again, I don't care we just have sex. But she tries to rub it in my face. This guy in south carolina wants her to move there and live with him, a guy in Wisconsin or some shit, the Florida guy, and now she keeps telling me about this guy from the band we saw, the guy was pretty cool and was talking to me and shit about how we could come down to Columbus and crash with him and just party and shit, he seemed cool. Now she keeps telling me how they talked and shit, like she is trying to make me jealous. It sucks, other than that she is cool and shit, our kids get along great and love playing and everything else. The sex is getting better now that she is warming up to me. But I don't know how long I can deal with the drama. I just want to tell her to shut the fuck up and talk about something other than the guys who want to fuck her. I mean her only request was that while we were fucking, we only fuck each other, thats a good rule, I like that rule. But perhaps we should have added, that I don't want to hear ablut others that want to fuck you or that you are trying to line up for the future. I don't fucking tell her that last night when I was out with my buddies that I was talking to another chick and what the fuck ever you know, there are lines. I dunno know, I just need to find someone else who can make the same deal without the extra drama... I mean I really like the fact that we are fairly honest and open about everything but there are just things I don't want to hear. Like HB would tell me about someone else fucking her, thanks for sharing but not something I need to hear! I mean how would you like to hear I was fucking the shit out of my ex wife and I accidently shoved my dick in her ass and she screamed at me to get it out and jumped like a mother fucker. Its just something that should stay with you... I don't know I am tired and bored as shit. I have been having insomnia lately I can't seem to sleep until like 3 or so. I bout sleeping pills, they don't really work either. I just move back and forth from the computer to the tv, time to move to the tv. Goodnight.