My son hates me and I do too

As far as I know my ex is on her way to come pick up our son. I am kind of happy. I can't deal with being a dad any more. So fuck it I give up. All I am supposed to be is a voice in the phone and a guy who shows up once in a while and brings presents, I'm not even going to do that fuck them both. Sure it was fun at first and evn fun during the day but the past couple nights when he talks to her before bed he starts blubbering about wanting to go home. If thats what he wants so be it. He's made himself puke right outside the bathroom 2 nights and tonight kept puking on the closed toilet seat 20 minutes after I gave him a bath. She yells at me for being a dick about having to clean up puke because she wants to talk to him when he was done and I said no because he'd do it again, then she proceeds to call back 3 times for my address and keeps telling me he doesn't want to be with me. I finally trew the phone against the wall. Like it doesn't kill me enough hearing him cry about not wanting to be with me she needs to rub it in my face. Fuck them they can have each fucking other. Somehow HB slept throught the whole thing. I wznt to fucking punch holes in the wall but no I'm fucking done. I give up. Thats all I can do. I beat myself up too fucking much over this. If she comes she can have him. She has my address. I'll pack his fucking suitcase see you later. Have a nice birthday, and christmas, don't know when I'll be back again. You've caused me too much heartache. I'm cutting my loses. I've tried to make you a good boy but apparently your stupid ass mother and her cousin that she's probably fucking and her rapist uncle are a better fucking life for you. Keep trowing fits for them and only eating what you fucking want. Enjoy being malnutritioned and getting in trouble in school. I won't be at the paerent teacher confrences. You gave up on me after a couple days. We had our talks and had our fun. Nice knowing you.