Pics

So since I said I'd put pics up I finally decided to stop being such a lazy fuck. Here are a couple pics of our babies. I need to get a pic of them sleeping, last night it was so cute!! Homer is bigger, he was laying down like this ----> and Marge was on top of him like this <----- just laying on him, all night long. But here's them awake, Homer is the one with his head up behing Marge. They are only as long as our finger and they could get up to 2 ft long.







This one was at the party I was trying to cross my eyes but the pic went before so I just look like a retard with half a lazy eye.



And for my HNT that I haven't done in a long time, a picture of my ass in my buds face. Note to all if you have a house party DO NOT pass out on the couch when people are still there. Go up to your bedroom where no one will mess with you or this could happen to you!

Useless Facts

Still no pics up, I'll try to get them on this week. This weekend we are going back so I can see my boy, he started Kindergarden this week!! Here's some other facts that I'm sure you don't care about:

In Alabama, it is against the law to wear a fake mustache that could cause laughter in the church.

A surfer once sued another surfer for "stealing his wave." The case was thrown out because the court was unable to put a price on "pain and suffering" endured by the surfer watching someone else ride "his" wave.

Diamonds were first discovered in the riverbeds of the Golconda region of India over 4,000 years ago.

Construction workers hard hats were first invented and used in the building of the Hoover Dam in 1933.

The highest bridge in the world is located in the Himalyan mountains. It was built by the Indian Army, in 1982, and is about 5,600 metres above sea level.

Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" was written about Vince Neil of Motley Crue.

New York City was briefly the U.S. capital from 1789 to 1790.

A galactic year is 250 million Earth-years. This is the time it takes for our solar system to make one revolution around the Milky Way Galaxy.

A cesium atom in an atomic clock that beats over nine billion times a second.

The substance that gives red wine and dark beer its color is said to have a positive effects on cholesterol and blood pressure.

A rabbit's teeth never stops growing. They are kept worn down by gnawing on food.

The famous jewelry store Tiffany & Co. was established on September 18, 1837 in New York City. The amount of sales that were made the first day were $4.98.

A headache and inflammatory pain can be reduced by eating 20 tart cherries.

A fetus develops fingerprints at eighteen weeks.

The USS Abraham Lincoln has five gymnasiums on the ship and a basketball league with 22 teams.

In 1897, Bayer, who is the makers of Aspirin, once marketed the drug heroin.

If Wal-Mart was classified as a country, it would be the 24th most productive country in the world.

1 out of 350,000 Americans get electrocuted in their life.

A mole can dig a tunnel three hundred feet long in a single night.

African Baobab tree's circumference can reach 180 feet. If the trunk is hollow, 20 people would be able to fit inside of it.

Beethoven used to take hay baths to remedy the swelling he used to get in his legs.

The board game Scrabble was originally called "Criss Cross Words" by inventor Alfred Butts.

The United States produces enough plastic film annually to cover the entire state of Texas.

New Edition to the Household

So Friday I went a blew a bunch more money on stuff for our aquarium and when HB got home and saw how nice I made the tank look we decided not to wait and to go get the baby bearded dragons. The problem with getting babies is that you can't tell the difference between males and females so we named the fat one Homer and the little skinny one Marge and hopefully we guessed right but after yesterday I don't think we did. Beardies do a couple things to show obedience, a head bob and arm wave. Reading the books the obedient males do it to the bigger males and the females do it to the males. Homer kept waving his arms yesterday. It looks really funny when they do it, it's like little slow arm circles, one arm then the other and he opens his mouth like he's hissing or something. Since Homer is so much bigger and eats like crazy I assumed he would be dominant but maybe we were wrong. They are so cute though and awesome. They are our babies. We've only had them a couple days but I worry about them and hope they are getting enough food and stuff. It is hard because if they eat crickets too big it can paralyze or kill them.

Other news this weekend, we went to a friends party Saturday that was fun. Had some drinks with some old friends and hung out. A guy passed out on the couch and got his picture taken with my ass in his face. Sunday we didn't get dressed or even open the front door, I did go outside the backdoor to get some crickets for our babies. I keep the crickets in a smaller fish tank that was free from HBs friend but take it outside to transfer them over to be sure that if some get away from me they are outside and not in the house. But that was about it for our weekend. Hope everyone else had a good one and I'll try to get some pics of our beardies soon and maybe even put my ass up for a HNT (just kidding!)

Life update

So I haven't been blogging much and when I do I usually forget about everything that I wanted to say because I get on rants about something or another. Well this time isn't going to be any different because I'm gona forget stuff. HB and I are still doing good, every once in a while I think we hit nerves but still good. We went to the pet store yesterday to look at fish because her friend gave her a small fish tank. Well we decided that we're gona get a couple bearded dragons. They are cute, cool and lazy. They'll fit right in since we usually don't do much but lay around and watch tv. So we were discussing names last night and we want to get a male and female, she mentioned Homer and Marge from the Simpson's so now I'm not budging on Homer, she can name the girl whatever she wants but the boy is going to be Homer. For those of you who don't know I am a huge Simpson's fan, my car has a Home on the dashboard, one hanging from the rear view mirror next to a Simpson's air freshener. But ok, so now I'm on the hunt for a bigger tank, they have grown ones in pretty small tanks but reading about it says they should at least have a 40 gallon tank. Those are expensive so I emailed a couple people with ads on craigslist to see if I can get one for $100 or so, preferable with a stand. We'll see if I hear back from them. Online was showing them aroun $200-250, the are $80 a piece so it's gonna be a little expensive at first but I have money saved up since I haven't went out and bought anything big like this for a while. So we'll probably do that this weekend.

What else has been happening... Ummmm I fogot just like I said. I am tired as hell of working 2 jobs. Today I left Navy at 10 saying I had an eye appointment only to come here and "work". Last week I didn't come much because I was lazy so this week I need to make up hours. Tomorrow is UNCLE TOM's Birthday so go over there and wish him a happy birthday and yell at him for not posting anything. Let's see yesterday I was freaking out thinking about death again while I was stuck in traffic. I just wonder what the hell happens, it can't be like a dream because your brain is dead. Perhaps its just like when I sleep since I don't dream much, it's just nothing but I don't know the unknown freaks me out and death is kind of something you can't avoid, it's gonna happen. But then I got freaked out thiking about being old, my great grandpa has watched most his friends and loved ones die around him, but he still has the rest of the family so I guess it would be a balance. I don't know. I finally painted our bedroom this weekend. It only took how many months, now all I need is the dining room, upstairs hall, 2 bathrooms which will probably never happen. Oh yeah here's a good one...

My mom called me Friday I think it was and asked if my ex said anything about being pregnant, I said no well my mom said she looks prego and that my boy said something about mommy hope she has a girl. Granted my boy says all kinds of shit but the same day my mom noticed her having a pooch...? So if she's prego it might be her cousin's baby. I think I mentioned this a long while ago but not sure. She lives with her cousin who I suspect she's been "with" she claimed before and got defensive saying he wasn't blood because his mom cheated or some shit but it's bullshit. So if she is prego with cousin's baby, the kid will have flippers and I and the rest of the world will laugh our asses off at her and her stupid flipper baby!!!! Ahhhh, I hope she is and it's his. But That's about all I can think of that's been happening. So Hopefully I can keep up now. Laters.

A Quickie

For The Scheherazade Project. I don't even know how to pronounce it but here's what I thought up, it's a little boring because I am tired. You can tell me what you think, I don't care.

Once upon a time there was a young couple in love. They took simple joys out of each others company and in everything they did. When they met they knew right away that they kindred spirits. When they first met they would just take long walks and talk for hours. They could talk about everything, they told each other their whole life and then a week later would repeat it and the other would sit and listen with the same intensity as the first time. They enjoyed knowing what they were like before and could see them together in the future. Daydreaming of their future life, marriage, kids, house, animals, they wanted the works. But then they got the news, he was drafted for the war, she was devestated. How could she survive that long without him, what if something happened she wouldn't be able to live without him. He promised her that he would do all in his power to come home to her. He left and she sat at home and waited for him for a few months but the daydreams were now of bloodshed and war, she couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to him so she went to work in a factory to do her part in supporting the war. She figured that this was a way of her helping him, giving him supplies, just like if she was fighting next to him. She would occasionally receive letters from him, hearing he was ok and that the things he would see looked like it was straight from hell. Then after 2 years she got a letter saying he should be coming home soon. She quit her job and spent all her day cleaning the house and dressing up, she wanted everything to be just perfect for his return. Then finally one day there was a knock on the door, she fixed her hair as she ran for the door, it was him. They resumed their dreams, they had a huge wedding and bought a huge country-house they got busy having kids. Life went just as they had hoped. Next thing they knew they were grandparents and great grandparents. They would tell their family their story and tell them that dreams can come true. They fulfilled their fantasy, they grew old together. But with each day they came closer to death. Each fighting cancer, broken bones from falls, and colds that would leave them bedridden. Medications, hospital visits, and funeral payments forced him to sell their old house. Until finally she passed. He was devastated but tried to make the best of it. He gave his best fight, he lived many years after her death. He finally admitted he needed to move into a retirement home. But one day he drove himself back to the old house, the one where all his fantasies came true. It was very old and ran down, it looked like it should had been torn down years ago, he walked inside and sat in the middle of the living room floor. He looked around one last time and laid his head down so he could go see his beautiful wife again.

Fuckin People!!!

It's been a while since I've bitched up a storm here. Friday I was going to call my mom because her birthday is coming up on the 26th and I wanted to send her flowers since I usually don't get my parents anything but a phone call for their birthdays and I figured they were going out of town for her birthday. Well she called me first, I was right they are leaving so I found out when and am sending it a couple days before. Well we started talking about my grandma, my dads mom, and how we are kind of the black sheep somehow in her eyes. Now she isn't creul or anything, she just always does stuff for other family members and not us. Last month she took my cousin to Vegas for a week for her 21st birthday, I didn't get shit, they have said they were going to come over and take me to Atlantic City for the past 4 years now and have never came to visit me here. Well mom told me a little story that sent me over the edge. My dad has always had a big dark lima bean shaped scar on his stomach, It's not a normal scar, it looks kind of like different skin. Well all I ever knew was that he fell out of a tree when he was little. Mom told me he was 5, and had less than a 50% chance to live. This was back in 1964, he punctured some organs and had internal bleeding and in small town Ohio apparently they hadn't perfected stopping shit like that. Well his mom and dad were recently divorced, him and his brother choose to stay with his dad and his sister stayed with their mom. She got the news and couldn't make it to the hospital because she had to go to work, because she worked with her boyfriend. She choose a guy over perhaps seeing her son before he went into a surgery he may not make it out of. My son is now 5, and after hearing this I started thinking and had my eyes watering up thinking if I got news like that. I would drive as fast as I could on shoulders if I had to, I would make the 6-7 hour drive in 3 hours. Then I started thinking if I got pulled over what would happen, would the cop let me go, give me a police escort? I would have to stop, I would burst out of the car bawling my eyes out, screaming I had to get home, my son was dying, this phrase, just thinking of having to utter this phrase is making my eyes water again. What would happen? .....Anyways. Well long story short, she finally married a guy, who is cool and funny I like him as my grandpa but we are still excluded from things, the daughter who choose to live with her gets everything, she gave her her house, pays for her daughters(my cousins) college and a car, and plenty more shit. My parents and I don't get shit. They are now buying and fixing up houses, then selling them back at a higher price or renting them out, so they are making some good money right now. I have been contemplating about either sending her a nasty email or ask her when we're going to Atlantic City, my birthday's next month! Or hell let's go back to Vegas, When my and said cousin were little we used to be able to milk her for money but now looking at things, I guess I only got it because she was there. Oh well, I may have been the trouble kid on both sides of my family growing up but I have made it fine on my own, no help from anyone. I have bought everything, I got away and made a better life, I have still made mistakes but they were ones I could learn from and recover, I am better off and a better peron than most of them. Perhaps that's the main reason I want to get rich, just so I can help those who have tried to help me and tell all the rest to fuck off, I'll buy them a nice coffin.

New York Pics!

Here are 3 of my Favorites and the link to snapfish for the rest. God I love that bull, there is more too.

GO HERE

Motivation....

I saw Happy and Blue's and had to do one with this picture I found. Find your motivation!

My new Grill

"Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
I want to see your grill"

That's right people I got me some gold in my grillz. Finally after like 6 months of root canal and all kinds of other shit I got my tooth in. A shiny gold tooth, it's not ghetto or anything though, it's in the back and you can't see it unless I open my mouth big. They also took a mould of my teeth to get it made and I asked what they were gonna do with it and they were gonna throw it away so I took it. I've got a replica of my teeth. I was playing with them yesterday, they're even hinged together so I can open and shut them. Fun stuff! Some people from my old job invited HB to happy hour yesterday so we went and had some drinks. It was fun, saw some people that I wasn't really friends with but it was fun, mainly just hung with HB and people she worked with and then Specy's wife, DQ, showed up so we talked. I don't think I've really talked to her since the wedding that I can remember. We had some drinks and greasy fries. HB's having one of those girlie sex toy party's next weekend. She's locking me up in the basement. I want to witness this thing, because in a guy's mind this thing is a girl orgy. Plus I could learn a thing or 2, I'm always down for pointers. But instead I'll be locked in the basement with a bottle of Beam, a bottle of coke, maybe some water, and my Xbox. I'll probably have to turn up some music too so people don't get mad at me screaming racial, sexual, and profane stuff to little kids that I am playing. I can't help it they piss me off. But it'll be all good, I'll still get to see the pamphlet and order some shit, I owe Zefyur some inflateable toys still. I didn't forget have just been waiting for the opportunity...lol. This weekend, don't have anything planned, HB has to work and I'll probably go to my other job on Saturday since I don't have many hours and could use the extra money as always. But hope everyone else has a good weekend!

Narcolepsy...?

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I am constantly tired, no matter how much sleep I get. On weekends I'll sleep for at least 10 hours and then not do anything but lay around and watch tv. This morning I didn't even hear the alarm at all, HB had to come and wake me up, then I came to work still tired as hell so I did my little morning shit and then took a 2 hour nap. I think I woke myself up snoring. I just kind of heard it when I was opening my eyes, it scared me. Perhaps it has something to do with my nose, it's constantly stuffed and hurting and then when I wake up my eyelids feel like they're stuck to my eyeballs. They have been really dry in the mornings, I'll have to mention that to the doc in October. Or then maybe it's my back, it always hurts, I need to go to a chiropractor or something and get it popped and a massage. But all these things may just all add up to an uncomfortable sleep and not reahing my REM sleep or something even though once I am out, I am dead. Nothing, no sounds, no dreams, no nothing. It could be narcolepsy, which is also called excessive daytime sleepiness. I think HB and I both have it. It can vary in severity, not all of them are like in Duece Bigalo. Really though, during the week I get up around 545 but I usually go to bed by 10, that's almost the recommended 8 hours of sleep and then I sleep a lot on weekends and still tired as hell. So in my professional opinion I have diagnosed myself with Narcolepsy, so excuse me while I go take another nap and tell my boss it's not my fault, it's a medical condition.

I'll try to get some of the NY pics up this weekend, maybe earlier if I get out of work or something, but I need the money. Since I've been in the military I have gotten my taxes done with no clue to the fact that I was supposed to pay Ohio school tax and got a letter back in March that said I owed like $800 in late tax fines and shit so I called and explained to the people and they told me to just file all the years since 2002, and they'd send a late charge or something that wouldn't be so huge, so I did. Monday I got a letter in the mail that it was handed over to a collection agency for 700 or so. So again I called and explained but I didn't make copies of the tax forms before I sent them. They told me to get copies of the cashed checks and write it all down and send it in. So that's one more piece of shit thing I have to deal with. Along with the guy in charge threw a fit yesterday about my and dumbass never being here and shit. Dumbass told me that we need to play it straight for a week or so and then go back to what we were doing, it's 1030 and he still isn't here yet. Good job playing it cool, fucknut.

What da Fuck You Lookin' at?!

NYC was a good and bad trip in itself. More good than bad I guess. So we left on Friday I changed our return time to a little earlier, it only cost $20. We were equiped with a portable DVD player we began watching Ultraviolet when we left the damn things rechargable battery only lasts 90minutes. So we missed the end. Traffic was sucking when we were really close which irritated me even though I wasn't driving. We got there safe and almost on time. My buddy Brown met us at Grand Central, we got some dirty water dogs and headed to his place on Staten Island. His place was a basement but wasn't to bad except it was for a midget, even HB had to duck most the time. We got some pizza had some drinks and BSed then went to go see his buddy's band play the Avon Junkies. Brown warned us that the place was hot and smelled like a sweaty armpit that was wiped with an ass. He was right, the place was raunchy as all hell. There were lots of little kids slammin and shit, was pretty good hardcore music. Avon Junkies were pretty good. Then we went back and crashed. Saturday we went to the city, we didn't get up til noon and didn't leave til like 2 or so. We of course had a couple drinks before we left, me and Brown, HB didn't really drink. We went and defiled statues, saw ground zero, St. Patricks cathedral, trinity church, radio city music hall, Times square, Hard Rock, Rockefeller Center, and whatever else I forgot. Statue of Liberty a couple times because the Staten Island ferry goes by it. We stopped at some fancy restraunt and had some drinks, HB got a little tipsy and Brown kept tryin to get her to yell What the Fuck you lookin at out the cab. It was funny. We went back to his place HB crashed we stayed up drinking and talking. I drank way to much, I didn't think so at the time but Sunday morning my stomach was in knots. I couldn't eat. We were running late. I realized on the way that I forgot the greyhound tickets but whatever I thought I could get new ones, wrong! SO on the bus, ferry, subway to get back to Grand Central I am in agony. I feel like I am gonna explode, I feel like I have to shit and puke and if one slips so will the other. I kept trying to distract myself. We finally get there right at the time our bus should have been leaving but I had to run to the bathroom and do both. Then I felt much better and went to get tickets. They wouldn't give me them, I had to buy new tickets for the later bus that I payed to move up earlier. So then we were stuck there for another 2 hours. We walked around outside a bit and what not. I charged the crappy DVD player all weekend in hopes it would last longer. We got on the bus and started watching Basic Instinct 2, 90 minutes it shut off, didn't get to see the end of that either. Damn piece of shit. We got home safe though, my car was still in one piece and no tickets. I blew about $100 dollars in unessasary bus tickets but whatever, we had to come back. All in all it was a pretty good time, just need not drink so much alcohol when we're walking all over a city and sweating in the heat. and pay closer attention to tickets. Good times, maybe some pics to come soon. I think the best is us defileing the bull.

It's Humpday....

I couldn't really think of a good title so there it is. It is actually hotter than hell outside. This is fucking ridiculous! Well things are planed for this weekend, HB and I will be up in NYC. Thankfully my buddy called and said he got the weekend off, we were looking for other options for a getaway in case he couldn't and apparently everyone is getting away this weekend. Virginia beach hotels were booked except the really expensive ones as well as Ocean City and Atlantic City. I just kind of wanted to go to a beach. Now Ny doesn't have any beach you wanna swin in, kind of like around here and Bmore, but it'll be great seeing him again. Plus HB has never been so I'll make him take us on a tour again. I am anxious to see what ground zero looks like now. Last time I went was well about 4 years ago and there were lines for blocks to see through a gap in the fence, it was just a huge hole. There were so many fucking people but it was silent as hell. You could here someones cell ring a block ahead. It was really eerie. I wonder if they've decided what they were putting there, I haven't followed it much. Last I knew they were arguing between a park and another big ass building. I guess we shall see. We are taking a greyhound up there because from what I saw driving there is 100xs worse than DC. It should save my blood pressure. Plus I got a portable DVD player now that I sort of stole from my son. A friend of the family won one so she gave it to my mom for him but I told her that the ex would probably pawn it like the rest of my shit so I get to keep it. So a nice relaxing 4-5 hour cruise watching movies. I am excited.

On other news I just cut the shit out of my thumb a half an hour ago. I don't know how but I was working and I looked down and there was blood all over the place. I think a hunk of metal just sliced though it at an angle like butter. It didn't hurt until I put an alcohol pad on it, then it burned like hell. But that's about it. Uhmmm, yeah I'm bored but have nothing to say so I guess I'll get back to work. Happy Humpday!

Useless Facts

So the concert didn't happen yesterday, well it may have but I wasn't there to find out. Canowine didn't come down because it was storming up there and it was supposed to storm here. I had a headache anyway, so we went to Chipotle and ate massive burritos and walked around a craft store where I threw fits and sang loudly to music and when the played Elvis songs I said really loud "Elvis died on the shitter!" just to make sure everyone around knew that he did. And here's some more useless facts:

Research indicates that plants grow healthier when they are stroked.

Leather skin does not have any smell. The leather smell that you sense is actually derived from the materials used in the tanning process.

John F. Kennedy's rocking chair was auctioned off for $453,500.

When Scott Paper Co. first started manufacturing toilet paper they did not put their name on the product because of embarrassment.

David Rice Atchinson was President of the United States for exactly one day. This happened due to a glitch in American law at the time.

A baby octopus is about the size of a flea when it is born

In Greece, the climate is so warm that many of the cinemas do not even have roofs.

Almost 425,000 hotdogs and buns, 160,000 hamburgers and cheeseburgers were served at Woodstock '99

In China, September 20 is "Love Your Teeth Day."

Director George Lucas had trouble originally getting funding for Star Wars because most studios thought most people wouldn't bother seeing it.

Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.

In 1989, twenty-three people were hired in Jacksonville Florida just to flush toilets so the pipes would not freeze.

The cost to build the Empire State Building was $40,948,900.

It cost the soft drink industry $100 million a year for thefts committed involving vending machines.

An artist from Chicago named Dwight Kalb created a statue of Madonna made out of 180 pounds of ham.

There is enough concrete in the Hoover Dam to pave a two lane highway from San Francisco to New York.

Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a fifty thousand-word novel, "Gadsby," without any word containing the letter "e."