Valentine's Day is near

With Valentines Day closing in and dreading the day I came across this, that helped me feel better. These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line...but the least romantic second line.

Love may be beautiful, love may bliss
But I only slept with you cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
Is everything that you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take the paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, your eyes..
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling , my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming..
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.