Bye bye CG

So today CG called me and asked me to pick her up from the airport. I went and picked he and her nephew up, their flight was supposed to be in at 745 and didn't show up until 930. So I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I hoped and with her nephew there it wasn't really the goodbye I hoped for either. I took her to her car and embraced her for the last time and kissed her for the last time. I didn't want to let her go. I wish that we could have had more moments like that a long time ago. But it was nice. I followed her for a while heading back. I was screaming to Senses Fail trying to get out the rainbow of emotions that I was feeling, regret, loss, hope, sadness, and I can't think of another word so I'll say love of a friend. If only we had more time. Damn this exercise that I have to get up in less than 6 hours for. I am chugging my Beam so I will be able to sleep. I am far from tired right now. I almost feel like crying but why? WHat's it going to change. It's just another time to remember and learn from. Especially after seeing my great grandfather I know that I need to stop stalling on things and stop being scared of rejection. Just go for it. Oh well. Chug some more. and say goodnight. I will be back on the 23rd I believe and I'll say it again and might actually do it this time but I may audioblog while I am gone. I know I will be drunk as shit this week, there is supposed to be no drinking during this excercise but they said that last year and we still did but everyone else isn't getting there until saturday. We are going advanced party to get everything ready. So I'll bid everyone farewell and I'll talk to you and check everyones blogs when I get back. Damn I hate myself but what else is new. Vegas will be my new start. My fuck it all attitude now has a backing and hopefully this time I can actually keep it instead of caving under the fear. OK I am getting drunk and rambling. BTW I am thinking of emailing CG this site and let her read it. What do yall think? though I probably won't read your responses until after I call her tomorrow.