God's message is loud and clear

My Seond attempt at The Scheherazade Project: Theme for 7/17-7/30. I can't even make paragraphs but I am trying to do dialouge. Funny shit huh.

"Alcoholism isn't a choice you make, it is hereditary. Let's go around and introduce ourselves. I'll start. My name is Dave, I'm a recovering alcoholic and an addict." the couselor stuttered out.

Next in line was a big black dude who looked as if he should be in prison "My name is Demond, I'm an addict."

"My name is Ronald, I am an alcoholic." mumbled the old man.

I stood up "I'm Randy and I'm here because the court told me too."

The counselor barked back "Well you must have a problem if you're here, why did the court tell you to come."

"DUI but it was just once... a mistake." I don't share my problems, especially with strangers.

"OK, you may not be ready to admit it, but remember the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Next"

And so it began. I heard stories and shared no part of my life to these crazy people. It is odd that I call them crazy when they were more sane than I have ever been. Weeks came and gone, I knew almost everyone in the room and still they knew nothing of me.

One day during a smoke break a 16 year old homeless kid approached me."Hey what's your story?"

"DUI." I answered trying to ignore him.

"Cool, I do almost anything. Can I bum a smoke?" I gave him one in hopes it would stop his talking, but it failed. "Thanks, so why do you drink?"

"I do every once in a while just with friends."

"Yeah, I ain't the cops, I don't give a shit. Look at me, does it look like I have the right to judge anyone?"

"I don't know, they say it's hereditary, maybe that's it. It relaxes me. It helps me except my numbness, fuck if I knew maybe I'd just fix it."

"Same here man, Fuck it all! My hope is that it'll cure me or kill me." He had a strange gleam to his eye.

"Maybe I am hoping the same. I think I'm leaning towards death."

"Why bother drinking then, death is always just a step away. Step in front of a bus, step in front of the train, step into the wrong guy, you know."

"Good point. Why don't you, you ain't have anything to lose right?" I curl back in horror when I realize I just told a homeless kid to kill himself. I hoped he didn't catch it. He seemed slow from doing drugs but as most druggies he had good points on how to make the universe right.

"What do you have? I'll do it if you do it." He chuckled with a sinister look about him.

"What now?"

"No, next week." He scoufed. "Wait yeah, if you can't find out how to feel by next weeks class we'll go out and end it."

"Next week, are you kidding?"

"You got something better to do? You got many friends? Loved ones? Anyone?"

"Not really but shit I may someday." I can't believe this punk is eggin me on to kill myself. I looked deep in his eyes to see if maybe he just had a sinister sense of humor. If he did he hid it well, all I saw was hate, lonliness, and desperation.

"Then lets do it then. That way we can at least hang out whereever you go to after death. You aren't one of those Jesus freaks are you? Naw, if you were you wouldn't be here would you."

"Nope I guess not. Well I gotta go, uhm, I guess I'll see you next week."

"Sure thing, remember this is your last week. Make sure you give your stuff away, you won't need it anymore."

I left. What a fucking lunatic. I have contimplated suicide before but shit I thought people were supposed to talk you out of it, not into it. I needed a drink. I went home got shitfaced and thought about it. Really, why not. Look at the way I live, I'm not far off from being off the streets myself. I finished the bottle. I missed work I slept for about 20 hours. Fuck it, why go to work. Why do anything. Hell why wait until next week. I walked to the store to get another bottle. I walked out of the store and ran right into him.

"Hey, drinking again, does that mean were down?"

"Whatever man, I don't care let's just go and finish this bottle." I slurred in between swigs. We walked over to the traintracks. I wasn't sure if trains still ran on these tracks or not. Not like it actually mattered at this point. "So how we gonna do it? You got a plan."

"I picked up something the other day," he pulled a 9mm pistol out of the back of his pants."I was gonna rob some people and see if the cops would shoot me or something."

"Why didn't you just shoot yourself?"

"I've tried but I can't fucking pull the trigger." He looked at me like that was my part in this. The whole reason he's been trying to get me to kill myself, he wanted me to kill him first. He nudged the gun my way. I tipped the bottle back and drank nearly a quarter of it in one gulp as I reached for it. As soon as it was in my hands he punched me square on the jaw and knocked me to the ground.

"What the fuck was that for?" I asked while spitting out blood and checking to see how much of my drink I spilled.

"Just to piss you off so you didn't chicken out. Come on bitch, shoot me!" I looked up at him as I was still down on one knee. I didn't want to kill anyone but myself. I took another long swig and held the gun to the bottom of my chin. He kicked me hard in the throat. I fell over and couldn't breath. I looked up as he lifted his foot above my face. I had no choice. I lifted the gun and shot him twice in the middle of the chest before I even thought about it. He fell to the ground, I never shot anyone or anything before. I scambled back away from his body, looking at it for any sign of life. Nothing. Tears began to roll down my face. I finished the bottle. There is nothing left. I held the gun to my chin but couldn't pull the trigger. "Fuck!!" I screamed into the night as I heard sirens in the distance, certainly coming to this location. I was running out of time, I pointed the gun at myself one last time and gritted down and pulled the trigger. Click. "What the fuck, click and no bang?" I did it again, "No more bullets, how the fuck you only gonna have 2 bullets you stupid fucker!" I screamed at his lifeless body. Then I heard it, I felt the rumbling. I saw the glorious light heading right towards me. There is a God and he just gave me a sign. I stood there with arms wide open, welcoming God's messenger.