Thank You and Happy Birthday (tomorrow)

At first I was angry, then i was sad, but truth be told I was scared about a lot of things before you broke up with me. I have complained about the fact that my dad never really had fatherly talks with me, my dad hardly played with me. Every once in a while we would play basketball or throw a baseball around but he worked long hours most of the time and we never had a chance to do those fun things. Since deciding to move to Texas I just kept telling myself that if I didn't follow my heart then I would blame my son for it. If I was happy he would be happy. I'd still get to see him during the summers. But that isn't fair to him. It isn't fair to you and your son. I think a lot of my anger towards your son had to do with control, I felt like I should have control, I am the dominate male or whatever. Which of course shouldn't be the way to act around a child, but I think also I was mad just because it wasn't my son. I do love him but he just wasn't mine. God I feel like there are so many things to thank you for. You've helped me realize that this anger isn't normal, that I don't need to be this way. Hell just from reading 2 books and being aware of it, I feel tons better. Though I will still go to some classes just to be sure and get an expert opinion. You have become my best friend, I confided pretty much all of my secrets that I know of to you. I loved when we would just lie in bed and talk about whatever. Because of losing you I've realized that my alcohol problem is a little more than I thought and that it isn't a proper way to solve any problems. I shouldn't try to numb myself to whatever I feel, just feel it and accept it and let it pass. I have learned that not all break ups have to be so brutal. You taught me a love that I never knew existed. You gave me so many wonderful memories. You've given me self-confidence, how could I not being with such a hottie! I've learned that not all compliments are sarcastic or have a hidden meaning, even though we would "argue" about it. I learned to open myself up completely to another, something I have never really done. I learned that flaws can be comical, such as my IBS. I've learned it's ok to tell someone what you are tuely thinking. You are a wonderful person, you deserve to be treated well, you deserve to be pampered. You shouldn't get down on yourself, you should know how hot you are even if it is annoying the way guys stare and follow you. Those guys don't even deserve your attention. Have high hopes, set your standards high, you deserve it. And thank you for coming into my life, you have changed it all for the better. I am glad to have been privileged enough to know you and especially grateful to have earned your love. Happy birthday HB! I know this year isn't as good as last when you got to meet Jared Leto, but i still hope you have fun and a good time!