Green eyed Monster

Why does it have to be green eyed when talking about jealousy or envy. Apparently because Shakespeare decided since green was the color of sickness that, that's the way it should be and who are we to argue with Shakespeare? Jealousy is something that is a part of human nature, no matter how hard we try to fight it. I used to be really jealous and sort of possesive in relationships but I guess the ex made me see a side that made me not do that shit any more. She pretty much made me cut any ties I had with friends I had, except her cousin which she then cut off, which is good cuz her cousin was getting on my nerves and has now been in and out of jail for all kinds of stupid shit. But her main reason was because most of my friends were girls. She felt threatened and threw fits about it but yet thought it was ok for her to go out with her guy friends that wanted to fuck her. Well this was when we were back in Ohio, and then ended up talking about divorce and shit because she was more than likely fuckin this other guy. Whatever, we worked it out kind of. Came to Mayland where she continued to be jealous even when I want to go out with guy friends she'd suspect we were going to an orgy or some shit. And yet she expected me to let her go out whenever she wanted and if I expressed my concerns I was an asshole and it usually resulted in shit being thrown across the room by one of us. I really hated it. If I went "out" it was going to someones house having some drinks and bullshitting, I think I may have went to one club while she was here and I'd be home by like 1 or so. And get yelled at and interogated either that night or the next day, and if there was a girl there, we gang banged her. Whatever, insecurities. Shouldn't I be the one throwing the fit? She fucked around on me, whether she actually fucked him or not, I never messed around, while we were married. There was only once when we were going out but I was in Florida and she pissed me off but whatever I was young. But then she'd go to the club all night with the girls and shit. I've seen these clubs and how the group of girls get surround by these guy, usually a group of marines out of boot who are fucking morons but chicks still dig em because their built and cocky, and I'm neither. But fuck it, I dealt with it. I dealt with the hypocracy. Hell by this point I didn't have shit for friends anyway.

What's really the point of being jealous, we know that people fuck around. And it's stupid, if people want to fuck around just say "hey, I think I wanna check out some other options." Ok so some shit happens, but fuck it, why fuck with someones head? Maybe this all just goes with my "fuck it" attitude, it sure sounds like it. I can still see some jealousy being ok, like I said it's human nature, but letting it really bother you, why, and if it does just tell the other person. Hey this bothers me and this is why. I don't know how or why I've evolved over the years, maybe it's maturity or something because before I'd not say anything just to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy. But now it's just like I wanna talk everything out, with HB I tell her what I feel, what I've done, everything. And I try to get her to do the same, though she doesn't like to. It probably has something to do with feeling vunerable, at least I think that was one of my reasons. But I just want to keep everything in the open, like it has been so far, and everything has been great. I don't want little shit to build up in the back of either of our minds and become resentmant. I want this to be the one that last forever, I want to do everything right. All my mistakes in the past I've learned from and am trying to not make them again.