CT (counseling Tuesday) and AA

So I attempted to go to an AA meeting during lunch today, and as usual the sheet they gave me was wrong. The address that I went to didn't even exist anymore. SO I was pissed as shit that I wasted my time and was throwing a fit saying that they better not give me any shit at my counseling about me not going to AA, I attempted to 3 times now and their sheet was wrong. But I took some initiative and found another one that had a 4pm meeting, so I could go to that and then to my counseling at 6. I need to find a different one, I knew this shit wasn't going to be happy but I felt really bad and uncomfortable there. One kid, couldn't have been 18, was homeless and sleeping on benches, almost everyone there was also a crack addict, they ended it with a prayer. Truthfully the prayer set me over the edge. When they were talking I felt really bad and shit, some of the crackheads freaked me out, but the holding hands and prayer was the one that kind of made me realize I really couldn't keep going to that one. The one I tried to go to at lunch moved to a different place, I think I am going to try to check it out tomorrow.

CT(I am getting tired of typing counseling so it is CT from now on) was ok. Last week we had a sub counselor or some shit that was cool. This one was ok, but talking about the shit he gave reasons that people drink, and they totally outweighed the consequenses. Though we did watch another 70s movie lecture. I learned about THIQ, please take the time to read THIS STUDY It is really fucking interesting. THIQ is kind of an opiate, similar to heroine, that is found in the brain of alcoholics. OK my last piss test, I drank quite a bit the night before and the opiate part almost came up hot, it barely had a line. I was wondering how this was, I know I didn't do any opium or any shit like that. Well now this makes since, my dad is still an alcoholic, drinks beer like water. And I am pretty sure I will end up like him. He wasn't a bad alcoholic, sometimes he'd get cranky but he was usually mellow, like me. But one thing that I don't understand is what is the difference between a "normal" or "social" drinker and an alcoholic. I still think I am a social drinker except right now "I drink alone, yeah, with nobody else. You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself"