Calling all smart people

So I get really agrivated when I get a thought or anything in my head and I can't figure it out. So anyone who can help me save my mind from exploding, I will be forever in your debt. Here it is:
Who originally said " Life's a bitch, then you die"
I have been searching online for about an hour now. That's right folks, I have no life and this is what all of our tax dollars are going to. A bud jumped on for a sec and said that it was Willie Nelson but I can't find anything to support it was him. It is going to drive me insane. I had a nice sad post I was going to do about me sittin at home, drinking more, and whatever. I thought about what my mom always said and wanted to find out who first said it. Here I am an hour or so later just pissed and forgot what all I had planned to say. I guess it's the Adult ADD or something. I'm supposed to be able to find anything on the internet easily, I guess I haven't looked in the right spots. I looked everywhere. Quotation pages, blogs, lyrics, everywhere! OK time out, need a smoke break....

Ok a little better now. SO I found out for Halo2 you can get online at bungie.net and see all the games you've played and how many kills you had per game and stuff, it's pretty neat. I am turning into a big nerd. Instead of not having a life due to my second job, I don't have one because when I leave here I sit at home and drink and play Halo. Maybe that's why I don't get better because I keep getting drunk while playing it. Last night I got into a screaming match with a 14 yr old punk from Ohio. It was pretty bad, little bitch. Ok stay calm now. Well I can't drive anywhere, I don't like calling people for rides and being a nuisance, my microwave is broke, my life is pretty much sucking big time right now. Which get's me back to "life's a bitch". Everyone says cheer up, it will get better, which is true, that's the "then you die" part. No more worries or problems then, right. 3 mores hours til I play Halo for 7 hours again like yesterday. I did take breaks to surf the net for a little while but that's about as exciting as I can get for now.