Alcoholism

I am cool with the fact I am an alcoholic. But what qualifies as alcoholism? I don't actually need it I just prefer to be drunk than deal with life. I drank half of a big bottle(1.75 liters) of CAPT. Morgans last night because they were out of Beam at the store and am probably going to drink the other half tonight, I am pretty close alreay. But most people consider raging alcoholics thoser who are mean when drunk or scare people off so they can drink. I don't really have anyone to scare off. I just sit alone and get dunk in this piece of shit room and scream at little kids on xbox. I actually think its pretty fun, sure I'd prefer the company of others but that just doesn't happen all that much. Yesterday CG(confusing girl) said she didn't feel good and didn't want to do anything. I sat here all day and got drunk. I was going to call her today but ended up getting drunk and playing Halo, I just noticed it was 9 pm and I needed to eat. I didn't leave the barracks at all yesterday and only left today to go to Mcdonalds. Other than that I sit in my boxer(because they still haven't turned on the airconditioning) and play Xbox and listen to Senses Fail. I talked to my boy today and told him I was coming home to celebrate his birthday and he said tomorrow. I told him he had to wait a month. I am going home for fourth of JUly weekend. Then I am leaving for our operation for most of July. I will probably have a bunch of crappy audioblogs while I am there. I am not sure which sense fail song I posted last night so here is another one that kicks ass!!

SENSES FAIL "Choke On This"

Half smoked cigarettes and you're the trash that infests my sheets
can't make a wife out of a whore, don't want your skin on me
And you're, you're addicted to the drug of lust
Detoxing the cold sweat of shame
and I love your pain

I gave you these roses now but I left in the thorns
I'd rather hurt someone than hurt myself
I'll dispose of you like a lighter out of fuel
I'll lose you somewhere on a dusty shelf

So this love's been worn down, like songs on a tape
The sex has lost all of its fun, like gum loses taste
And you're, you're addicted to the drug of lust,
Detoxing the cold sweat of shame
and I love your pain

I gave you these roses now but I left in the thorns
I'd rather hurt someone than hurt myself
I'll dispose of you like a lighter out of fuel
I'll lose you somewhere on the shelf

I'm here lying in your bed babe
Remember what you said to me
"You can be my james dean, I'll be your sweet queen"
I said that you were my first, but you weren't even close now
Like a frame in a movie, you're just one of many
Can you grant me one last wish
Play russian roulette as we kiss
I'll be your cheap novelty
Blow your brains out on me

I gave you these roses now but I left in the thorns
I'd rather hurt someone than hurt myself
I'll dispose of you like a lighter out of fuel
I'll lose you somewhere on the shelf