I need a drink

So here's my day. Worked sucked ass, I had to do a bunch of stupid shit, need a drink. Came home and waited for Chris to help him move, he was late, needed a drink. While waiting I remembered that I need to talk to JAG tomorrow before I leave, getting headache, need a drink. Starting to think I need to bail on Chris so I can hang out with CG for the last time, I was feeling like a dick, needed a drink. Chris calls there was miscommunication, I was supposed to meet him at his new place, I told him I needed to bail, he seemed pissed, I needed a drink. Go see CG thought maybe something special, stood in line at CompUSA dealing with stupid people with no people skills, wanted to choke everyone near me, NEEDED a DRINK! Went to dinner, got a headache and stomach started acting up, needed a drink. Went back to CG's watched tv and she needed to go to sleep, left, now I got my drink. I feel like a huge fuckin asshole for ditchin Chris to do the exact same shit me and CG has been doing nearly everyday for however long. Don't really know what else I feel. I can't wait to see my son, want to see old friends back home, have way to much shit to worry about here. All I want to do is sit here and drink myself to death. I think stress is killing me. I really need to look up ulcer symptoms, it is getting bad, almost everytime I eat I get this gaseous like build up beneath my rib cage that gathers so much it hurts my chest. Maybe I'll remember to look it up tomorrow, I doubt it since I never read my posts after I right them. I still have a bunch of shit to do at work. Fuck I need to pay my bills before I leave. I am so fucking tired! Tired of everything! It's a perfect weather for my emotions though, stormy. WHile in Comp and dinner the lights kept flickerin and almost going out. Tons of lightning. While driving back I remembered watchin lightning with my dad, he used to pull this ratty ass rocking chair onto our old open porch and sit and watch lightning over the roof tops, I used to go out with him. We didn't talk much but sat there and watched togather. I never really had any good conversations with my parents. The most I actually talked to them in High School was when I was on aciid, it was quite funny. I guess it was part of the euphoria effect. I don't know. I think I have always been stressed, in High school I was on drugs to help but then still had my parents stressin me, then got married and had a kid, had the stress of raising a fam, then stresses of military added to everyday life. All I know is... what's that ( I'm rambling too much)... Yep you said it....Life's a bitch then you die. (but I am going to make thing more difficult and still try to have as much fun as possible in the mean time, Fuck it all!)

Useless Facts

I need to get rid of some more useless facts but first... I am dreaming more, last night was kind of weird again. I'm not going to go into details but it involved CG, the ex, "a friend" was there for a brief moment, and for some reason my grandma's old cat got killed by a dog(Fluffy actually died of old age when I was like 14 or so). The ex was playing with my head and "a friend" told her off, it was quite funny. Last night helped Chris move a bunch of his shit til 10 and on my way back to the barracks CG called and said she wanted me to come to her place today, since it is going to be the last time she sees me. She sounded so cute...lol. I told her I have to help Chris move some more shit but should be done around 4ish and will swing by there. So tonight I may post a boozed filled story or tomorrow I will post something and then driving to Ohio tomorrow after work. 8hr drive woohoo, not!

Washington, D.C. has one lawyer for every 19 residents!

Frozen lobsters can come back to life when thawed!

Europe is the only continent without a desert.

All babies are color blind when they are born.

A lot of sex a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Cattle are the only mammals that pee backwards.

A spider's silk is stronger than steel.

Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.

Some species of fish have voices!

The average person spends three years of his or her life on the toilet.

Most tropical marine fish could survive in a tank filled of blood.

I ain't got much

I have been feeling the blog flu or writers block. Apparently no one wanted to hear 4th25 (pronounced 4th quarter) or they have no idea what to say. I was somewhat speechless but had to share it. Let's see what is up with me. I actually had to do a shitload of work yesterday which sucked ass! CG cancelled on me due to stress from work and having to study and shit which makes tomorrow the last day. Had weird ass dreams again last night. First one was some shit about me and my cousin doing covert ops in a parking garage and things shooting at me. Then the one that woke me up was quite real and strange to be happening now, perhaps a sign for when I go home or my unconscious mind wishing for it. So the part I remember clearest was sleeping in my bed at my parents house, my mom came in and tried to wake me up, I ignored her like I usually do. She wakes me up and I can hear her but I don't move so she doesn't bother me, she seems to do this everytime I am home because she doesn't like me to sleep til noon even though I was out all night. So I ignore her but wake up, she goes back into the living room and I hear her tell someone I am sleeping and ask if they wanted to wait. I am too tired to get up but perk my ears to find out who she is talking to, I hear soulmate say she couldn't wait and had to go. My mom said hold on she'd try again. As soon as I heard the squeak of my door opening, I woke up and jumped out of bed. And in real life, I woke up and jumped out of bed. I looked towards the direction my door is from my bed back home, which is actually a window in my barracks room. Nothing, I was so pissed. I felt so happy and then woke up to disappointment. I haven't really thought of her that much lately thanks to CG's distraction and I would think I would dream of her since she is leaving, but nope. The garage then that, my head really is messed up.

Live from Iraq

I am going to start this out with 4th25 as most people know I like screamo but here is some rap. These army soldiers made a good fuckin album while they were in Iraq, yeah it is slightly controversial but what rap song isn't. This is them putting their feelings and words to songs that as Big Neal puts it "everything I wrote was no more than what you could see on all of our minds... the music, the lyrics... everything. I was just willing to say it loud enough for everyone to hear." You can listen to samples of the album thanks to CD Baby. I must say I am kind of confused how they made the album there, I could see them spittin the lyrics and then sending them here to be put to tracks but they pretty much did the whole album there in Baghdad except for mastering, printing, and duplication. They have some videos on their site as well if you have a strong stomach. Military members get this shit emailed to us every once in a while, including the beheadings and the burnt bodies hanging from bridges. This shit is happening and people say get our troops out of there now, what is most of our answers? Mission accomplishment first, if we pull everyone out today then all those people have died for no fucking reason. If we finish our mission to somewhat establish them then they died for a reason. Listen to the album, even if you don't like rap.

That being said back to my day. Had fun at six flags, saw Jerry Springer there and got an autographed pic of Steve. I forgot my camera at home though. Same as last time just hung in the pools. Lazy river needs an age requirement the little kids trying to run through it was kind of irritating. But good times were had. We went back to her place and took a nap planning to go see High Tension but it only shows twice a day at our normal theatre so it didn't start until 10, she said she was too tired to go so I asked her to bring me home. A little dose of her own medicine perhaps. Things were the same as always. I really wanted to come home because her room is too hot for me. I am used to freezing in my room, cuddled in my blankets. I was sweating my ass off while I was napping. We are heading to the aquarium around 10 tomorrow, almost hard to believe this is our last weekend together. I need some more coke, I am out! Damn vending machines down stairs never have coke in them. Looks like straight next. Well it's almost time to pass out since I have to get up early.

Busy Weekend

Tonight CG and I went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it was a cute movie. Angelina is so fuckin hot too. I wanted to see High Tension but they may have to wait for another day. We are going to Six Flags again tomorrow, my skin still hasn't stopped peeling from the last time we went and then Sunday we are going to Bmore aquarium. So TG if you aren't doing anything give me a call, we'll be in the area. I sit here with my first drink of the night for a Friday, I may have one more before I go to bed. I have been so tired lately. I took a 2 hour nap today. I left work around noon. CG is driving me insane, I really need to talk to her but of course I don't have the balls to. Like tonight after the movie she came up to my room we were watchin tv and she was starting to fall asleep, I moved a bit and she woke up and looked at her watch and said she had to go. Why don't she just stay here, she's coming back in the morning anyway. She said she has to study for her class, but I know damn well she isn't going to study tonight, she is going to go home and go to sleep. She has stayed here before and I have stayed at her place so it's not like it's the first time or anything. She is so damn confusing. My thought is still the same as before, she doesn't want to get too attached the same as I have been but it's unavoidable with as much as we've been hanging out. Even though I am not drunk I am just going to put most of this shit out there even though now isn't a good time since I may have a princess fucking reading this shit and throwing in her worthless fuckin opinion. Ok so now it's pretty much like CG and I are going out, we act like a couple.Hold hands when we walk and talk on the phone everyday, hang out everyday except Tues and Thurs when she has school. But things are less physical than once was. And it been bothering me. Like when I go to give her a kiss goodnight when she is leaving it is like before we kissed, I get a peck and go for more and she's doing the look away or talking thing. I keep trying to tell myself it's the NWTGA(not wantin to get attached)(needs to be abrev now). But I can never know when I don't ask. See this is why it has never worked for me to start to hook up with friends, I have tried all different ways and none of them work, of course they were all different women and perhaps I just did the wrong ways with the wrong women. Choices are as follows: Talk about it with her, Just go for it and hope she likes it and doesn't just do it to avoid conflict(it does happen), wait and hope she shows me a sign(they never come), or nothing and she will be gone soon. Nothing always leave me with regret(like with her roommate). I know it sounds like I am hung up on her a bit. Truth is I am really going to miss her when she leaves, thankfully I am not that attached and will probably get over it after a bottle thanks to friends who will understand that I am blowing them off for a good reason the same as they have done to me over women before (yeah you Spec, and Tom kind of). Live and learn as usual I have a week left. I am going to Ohio next weekend, I think from what they are saying that I have a formation on the 5th and actually deploy on the 6th so that may be my last night with CG, do or die and find some truth or just let it go as a good time. I will probably just let it go. Nothing more can come of this shit. What is she going to come back from Korea in a year or 2 and I am going to be single and run off and live happily ever after, yeah right. And if I ask her and get an answer that I don't want to hear my feelings may be hurt or whatever, thus forcing me further into a hole and out of the game. As the great Bart Simpson said "You're damned if you do, damned if you don't!"

Me dressed up for court 

Court

I just got back from court. It was a complete waste of my time. 3 hours of my life I will never get back. I went and sat there while the judge himself was 45 minutes late to appear. Then after one other person I was called up. He told me the maximum penalty including a year in jail followed by a year of parole and $1000 fine. I have the choice of what kind of trial I want, if I want a state judge or national or some shit, or a trial by jury. If I wanted a court appointed lawyer or my own. Ech typed while I was on the phone "The chicken was good! Me Gusta Pollo Campero". He drove me and sat there for me which was really cool so I bought lunch at some pollo campero place. It was really good, mmmmm pollo. OSo I have til July 27th to decide what kind of trial I want and then my trial date is August 24. I was scared for a wuick minute that I would be confined to the state and not be able to go to Vegas, thankfully it is afterwards. Also since they haven't said anything about taking my license away long I can drive after the 25th of this month, so I can drive myself home next weekend. My parents were trying to figure everything out if they had to drive here and pick me up and bring me back. Now I just need to watch my speed so I don't make things worse. SO all is well so far. Hopefully I won't fall asleep after work so I can hang out with CG. I keep falling asleep watching tv, I did it yesterday too. I am also starting to remember pieces of my dreams and they are quite disturbing and weird. They make no sense whatsoever. Like one I remember was a fox getting it's legs chopped off below their knees or whatever they have and still running around. I don't remember who cut them off or why but I remember seeing them on a plate or something. There was more but I forgot. I may need to keep my notebook next to my bed and when I wake up, write down what I can remember. Maybe these are stange signs that need to be analized. Well I have spent all day in my little cute outfit instead of my uniform. Maybe I'll take a pic of myself when I get home, I look good. People in my office were amazed, they were like what the hell and really freaked out when I put a tie on. Ok I am jumping around and rambling so I'll call this a post. Hope everyone has a happy Humpday.

Damn narcolepsy

I was supposed to hang out with CG today, she called and said she would be over in half an hour or so, I fell asleep watching tv. She called me a couple times and got mad and left. I woke up a half hour later and realized what happened and called her like 3 times but she didn't answer. She finally called me back and yelled at me and gave me a guilt trip saying she isn't going to be here much longer and shit. WTF, I apologized for falling asleep and it was only like 530 so it wasn't too late to hang out. I told her I had to buy a dress shirt for court on Wednesday and since she has school tomorrow I needed to go to the mall today. She came back over took me to the mall, picked out a shirt for me(I don't dress up and have no fashion sense). And then dropped my sorry ass back off. She said she had to study for her class. So I ate my frozen dinner and am now playin Halo 2 with my Jim Beam.

A friend of mine went to Croatia for some confrence shit and she brought me back a shot glass. It is really neat, looks like a little stein. I might take a pic of it later and post it. Ok I people waiting on Xbox for me. Laters.

Otep

First I forgot in the last post, I didn't get to follow my 2 drink limit on Friday, it wasn't my fault though. Uncle Tom kept bringing them, I had like 4 beers and CG got an amaretto and coke and drank a little and said it was too strong so I had to drink it, then she got a Vodka and red bull and did the same thing. I was barely tipsy though so it was all good. Last night I did follow my rule except I had 3 which was really good. There was almost a repeat of last Otep experience, the same guy that I got into it with last year was doing the same shit this year. He is a big boy who just walks through the pit pushing people and throwing the little guys. The pit is for people to jump around and fucking feel the music and slam into people. Now if he'd been headbanging or even bouncing I wouldn't have a problem with him but no he just walked. Luckily I wasn't drunk like last time, plus it was only CG and me so I wasn't going to leave her alone. Though when I went up front to get my pics from up front I made sure to bump shoulders with him. I'm not sure if he remembers me but I sure remembered him. It was a good night though, there were 5 bands, most no names even to me and I don't remember many of them but it was a lot of screaming that I couldn't understand but I liked the music. Otep as usual mixed spoken word and then doing a song. They did their infamous dark and dirty Jonestown Tea. Along with speaking her mind about politics, being sure to say she hated the people in office right now but being sure to say that she supported the troops and their shows and everyone's freedom is thanks to us. Which was really cool. She actually seemed happier this year, first coming out sporting a trucker hat cocked to the side. Jumping around more. Though she did do a couple songs with a stocking hat pulled down over her face. They are a great show and Jaxx is an awesome place to see them because it is so small and intimate. I had a blast.

Everyone loves Pig's heads and headbanging 

Otep's ever popular pic head on a stake 

Scotty from Otep can scream! 

She is Hot 

Jennifer Arroyo formerly from Kittie now with Suicide City 

Suicide City 

Mark Thomas Kluepfel from Action Action 

T.J. Minich from Spitalfield 

Mark Rose from Spitalfield 

Waking Ashland 

Action Action

This is going to be a very quick run down since CG is on her way and I was to be helping buddy move half an hour ago. I will post pics maybe tomorrow. First up was Waking Ashland, I dug their songs but there were a bunch a little teenie boppers there for them and were all jumping around looking retarded. They sounded kind of like Dashboard Confessionals except a little more rock guitar and the singer would throw in little screams every once in a while. All in all I liked them and got a pic of me and one of Uncle Tom with the lead singer whose name I will find when I post the pic.

Spitalfield was awesome, same excitement that you hear on their album. They rocked. The drummer was sick the night before and still last night but still did awesome. Talked to him after his set and got a drumstick from him. I also had to ask him if all the band members would sign the cute little Spitalfield shirt that CG bought and they did. That was really cool of them.

Action Action kicked as much ass as I would have hoped. Everyone except the drummer had keyboards set up next to them while they played their guitars and on certain songs they would reach over and play them it was great. A couple times I think the lead singer played without even looking at the keyboard. A little more than half way through CG had to go to the bathroom, I didn't, thankfully Tom had to so he went down with her (the bathrooms are downstairs, stage is upstairs). While they were gone they actually played a cover of Nirvana's Verse Chorus Verse and it sounded really good actually. I thought if I ever heard someone try to cover a Nirvana song I would kill them but they did good by me. So Pics to come later and Otep is tonight, last time I saw Otep I got my shirt ripped up from me and a marine taking out this asshole that was knocking little guys around in the mosh pit. I think I posted about it whenever it was, oh well. Later.

T.G.I. motherfuckin F.

It's Friday, I don't have shit to do today, but as usual I have to stay to check if any shipments come in at like 2. So I can't go home and get my nap like I want to before my concert tonight. I will hopefully post pics sometime this weekend. I am going to be busy this whole weekend. Concert tonight, help a buddy move tomorrow, concert tomorrow night and who fucking knows about Sunday. Hopefully Sunday will be a recovery day. I know CG will be with me tonight and tomorrow and again who knows about Sunday. Now my goal is to not get wasted but have some drinks and have a good time. The problem is when I go to have a few drinks, especially at concerts, I get thirsty and instead of paying for a soda I buy a drink. This leads to many of the reasons I don't remember concerts. As I was talking with a friend outside smoking, he said stay sober so you don't piss her off. But why, if getting drunk is a part of who I am. That's what I do as an alcoholic, I get drunk a lot. Hell most of the time it is out of boredom or to "be socialable" since I am not really a people person, get a little bit of that liquid courage. I don't fucking know anymore.

I found out what I am doing for our exercise next month, IV's. Yay I get to train a bunch of little wannabe doctors how to do IVs. Hell I haven't done the shit myself for almost 3 years. Hopefully it's like riding a bike. But I have to go early with them to help them set up when I was trying to get out of it. So I go to Ohio for 4th of July weekend, get back late the 4th and leave for that of the 5th, which means probably the last time I will see CG is the 29th. That sucks to not even get to say goodbye. That's got me a little salty knowing that, I am still trying to convince her to come home with me but she is heading to her home that weekend as well. I may need a ride though if the court takes my license away. It's always my luck to get closer to a person when they or myself are getting ready to leave. It's weird how much she's changed since I've known her. I used to not be able to stand her when I hung out with her roommate. She was a huge drama queen and now she's just cool as shit. Maybe if she would have been this cool back then we could have hung out more. Again oh well, I don't fucking know anymore. Can't change shit, just have to roll with whats going on and deal with it as the obstacles keep coming.

I'm everyone - and no one. Everywhere - nowhere. Call me... Darkman.

I feel I need to wrap my face in bandages like Darkman. If you haven't seen that movie, go see it. So my face is peeling like a bitch, really bad. I was supposed to hang out with CG tonight but her car was in the shop and of course I can't go pick her up so here I sit putting lotion on my face every half an hour, so I guess it's cool. My feet are still red as hell but don't hurt quite so bad anymore. I need some of that exfoliating face wash to scrub all this skin off or something. I went to the denist today, they explained to me that my teeth are way more fucked up than just being crooked. I had to get cleaning and get a filling. I get lectured about quitting smoking by both of the doctors. I hate the denist, it's not so much them in my mouth or the pain, I am used to dealing with pain, but the squealing of those instuments. It freaks me out! Anyway I am bored as shit and about to start playing some Halo, since CG has been distracting me from it. I will also be going to some concerts on Friday and Saturday. Friday includes Action Action and Spitalfield. I purchased their CDs recently and they are awesome. Then on Saturday I am going to see Otep again, they kick absolute ass at Jaxx a small little club in Springfield, VA. I will be sure to get pics of both concerts as long as my camera doesn't crap out on me again. CG is going with me to both so I am setting myself to a 2 drink minimum to reduce my chances of being a dick like on Friday and stumbling down the street and babbling stupid shit and try to prove I am not dependent on alcohol. I just prefer being drunk.

All say hi to...

Well Finally I have converted another to the blogosphere. Ok not another he is actually my first person to convert but whatever. All please say hi to him. He is my brother from another mother who decided to use a name too fucking long because he is a huge fan of Senses Fail and had to use their lyrics. all we are is a spec in life I have no idea how often he will update but I will try to harp on him to post frequently and check out other blogs as well. My ass is back in work today, but I have a dental appointment at 9, I hate dental. I have to get a filling, bastards. I actually remember parts of dreams last night, I think it's because I wasn't truely asleep due to the pain in my body(sunburn), they were really weird. I was driving and people were running in herds like deer across the streets. I hit one and it was like a deer, you get out look at the damage to your car curse at the person you hit, kick it a couple times and drive off. Then there was one wierder but I don't remember it now. Oh well. Everyone please welcome Spec in Life to blogger.

I'm back

Well it's 130 and I am home sipping my Beam and coke already. I just got back from Penn an hour ago. Yesterday we got there by about 8am and started working right away. We busted our ass taking everything out of the connexes(big metal boxes) and counting them and then putting them back. We worked so hard that we finished by about 3. I did however work up an appetite, so that was one thing cured. We all went to Hooters for dinner and had all you can eat wings and a shit load of pitchers of beer. Then a few of us went on to the crappy community center next to billeting where we were stayin, last time we were there they had party of it set up for dancing but I guess not on a Monday night. There is always a few ladies in there being flocked by stupid army reservist. SO we had a few more drinks and then crashed. Today we did some running around and then headed back here. Now through all this working I am burnt as shit. I would put a pic of my face but it just looks like I'm constantly embarasses and below is a picture of my foot. Imagine wearing socks and boots and working and walking all over the place. I am burnt everywhere except where my shorts were. But my feet and legs hurt the worst and my face when I make facial expressions. But time for me to catch up on everyone elses blogs and do laundry. Cheers!

Yes thats what happens when you don't put sunscreen on! 

I'm dying

Yep my life here on Earth is up. So yesterday wasn't feeling that bad from the night before. It was hot I didn't want to eat but got some Wendy's anyways since me and CG were just out running around most of yesterday. I took 2 bites and that was it. I drank 1 gatorade and 1 water. I know I was and probably still am severely dehydrated. And malnourished. I tried to eat something a minute ago and got a couple bites and that was it. I am drinking more water now though. I am going to go to Six Flags to go swimming with CG today, I hope I feel better in a couple hours. Damn her for waking me up so early. I don't know if this is going with the stomach problems I was having earlier in the month or what, it shouldn't be the alcohol, I have drank way more than that and been just fine. Oh well. Glad to see everyones review of Friday night. And to think that was only a small preview of what's going to go down in Vegas. Well I guess I need to pack I am going to be gone Monday and Tuesday to Fort Indiantown Gap, Penn. I am sure I'll be drunk there, maybe try to do some audioblogs but it seems to never work when you want it to.

I followed my rules

Ok so last night was a blast! I drank a little more than I expected to but that's usually how that works out. That Girl of course has the pics. I may post some more of them later. I know I can't do some people faces, don't worry. SO we get there and it was how I expected, TG, hipchick, IG in their group, Blue his friend in their group, and me, chris, CG in ours. I tried to intermingle by gettin TG to sit on our side, but chris went and sat next to her instead. He is going to start blogging soon. I had him start an account a while ago but he hasn't posted anything yet, I will make a post and link when he starts. So some general conversations and drinks as usual. Unfortunately I started drinking at Chris's an hour before drinking his 151, so that may be why I was more drunk than I'd like, oh well. So we move to Howl at the moon. Hipchick and IG didn't join us, they took off. Howl at the moon is a lot better in San Antonio, but it was still fun. Me and Chris were fighting to get our service songs played and as usual he won. Bastard. Blue and bud left, Jasika and greg left so it was down to my group and TG. We got up on stage and danced with a bridal party, Tg has pics. I always look too skinny and goofy in pics. Oh well I guess thats how I look, can't change it. We get back and these 2 guys are at our table hitting on TG and CG, I push the guy talking to CG out of the way and sit down, he left quickly I am good at that. This Air Force pussy stays and keeps talking to TG. Chris was going to beat the shit out of him, I was going to stomp his ass. TG again has the pick of me looking pissed, I was cocked back and ready to swing. I told CG this guy was going to get his ass kicked and she made me walk her to the bathroom. While waiting on her a guy say hey you are in the military I said yeah. He said his buddy(the guy at the table) was. I told him to get him away from our table before he gets killed. He came and got his buddy. I was wasted. Chris walked TG to her car, Me and CG went to his. We talked kissed some and last thing I remember was Chris getting in the car and then I woke up on his couch alone. I woke up to CG calling me to see if I wanted to do something today. I said yes and turned on the TV to Leaving Las Vegas. Chris got up and I asked him what happened after he got in the car. He said he walked TG to her car and told me a little of the conversations he had with her. Apparently we got to his place, CG had to go cuz she had an eye appointment or someshit at 9am. I, I guess, gave he a hug almost falling over onto her and walked in front of a firetruck going though the parking lot and fell onto his couch. So if I hadn't of started with 151 I would have been good and maybe could have talked CG into stayin at his place with me or went to her place but no, I had to let my alcohlism take control. Live and learn I guess. I had fun and didn't get arrested or even in a fight so it was good. CG is on her way so I'm out.

Friday night fun

So this is going to be quick cuz I need to get the hell outta here. I have to stay and check some shit between 2 and 230 so I am just passin time. I found out that I am going up to Penn to help set up for our operation on Monday and Tuesday, I am not really excited about that. I would rather spend Monday with CG like usual. She has been calling me everyday. I am not sure if thats a good thing or not yet. Maybe if she wasn't leaving soon it could have been good but I already set myself up to not be attached, just have fun while it lasts. Oh well. So tonight my bud verified that he would head up to Bmore with me which is good. I thought I was supposed to be able to drive since the last time I talked to MVA they said my suspension was done yesterday. Luckily I called to verify and now they told me it wasn't up until the 25th which is after my court date. So I probably won't be able to drive again until who knows when. Sat and Sun I don't know yet more than likely hang with CG, my bud is mad because I am ditching him for her. "Bros before Hoes", I said yeah but when he was with someone and I called to see what he was up to he would say "Busy" and hang up that was it. But oh well he knows the deal. SO it's 2 now so I am off to do my stuff and get up out of here. Have a good weekend. I may or may not post until like Wednesday.

Fuck it all !!!

I am watching 25th Hour again, I haven't seen it in a while and I have to post this awesome fucking quote from it. If your offended get mad at whoever wrote it.

Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!

Times are getting better and better

Just waiting for the downfall. Leave it to me to start stuff with people when they are leaving me soon. I am of course really liking hanging out with CG and it sucks knowing she is leaving next month and I really only have to the end of the month to hang out with her. Hung out again last night. We went for bagles and then she went tanning, I tried to sneak back into the room with her but staff stopped me and wouldn't let me. Bastards, I wasn't going to tan...lol. So then we went back to my room and had fun hanging out. We'll leave it at that. I finally finished off the pics from DC. I need to try to go get them developed today. I think I am in only one of them and I don't think I can post any of the others, CG might get mad. Although I do think I have some of Uncle Tom and Canowine, I don't care if they get mad. Ok Well I had a lot of fun last night and now have to try to get work done. I need to find out today who I am bringing with me to Bmore. I want to bring my buddy so he can get out but I don't think he really wants to go. If he doesn't I may see what CG is doing. I just don't know how she would take going up there with me to meet a bunch of chicks and maybe 2 other guys. Don't know I have til tonight to try to figure it out, if nothing else I'll just have to fly solo(like I'm not used to it). Ok well should probably get started doing some work before I decide to be lazy all day again.

I planned to work today...honestly

So once again I sat on my skinny ass all day. I planned on doing some work, I even took up my forms to do my surveys. The only problem was our cart were full of crap. So I put the forms up there and came back to surf blogs and then went to lunch at Taco Bell which I should still be boycotting. Especially when I get the grilled stuffed burrito and on the wrapper it still has the Chilli Cheese Burrito on one of the corners that almost brings a tear to my eye. All I want is a damn chilli cheese burrito, is that too much to ask for? I am about to call corporate again. I don't think people took me seriously last time, I really called. Everyone needs too. I may do it once a week. Last night I went to go work on the apartment that I was supposed to move into and am now not going to. Since my driving situation is unstable for who knows how long until I go to court. My buddy will be moving in and then in 3 months or so I will move in across the hall. As long as I can escape the barracks on weekends I guess it's not that bad. He'll be closer when I need a ride so he doesn't have to drive 40 minutes to pick my broke ass up. Then we drove to and from Laurel because he needed to borrow my van, since I'm not driving it, because his car was broke. So we're driving around in the storm. There was a lot of good lightning. I like the storms, I just don't really care for driving in them. They finally turned the air on in the barracks. I had my room freezing last night so I had to cover all up in my blankets. It was great! Ok I was trying to find a song to put lyrics in from Armor for Sleep, most of it is about some sort of person in their life. SO this is just a song I like, the whole album is awesome.

ARMOR FOR SLEEP "Remember To Feel Real"

so here's the truth
you were right all along
they were never my friends
and i was living a lie
but i wont fall for it next time

you figured me out
i'm like a leaf in the wind
i try to find who i am
but wind up lost in the end
sometimes its hard to know whats real when your not

cause you know i change myself to impress whoever happens to be next to me
but i'm sick of trying so hard
waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you
waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you

everyday i'm just making my rounds
just digging a home 6 feet underground
sometimes it's hard to know what's real when you're not

cause you know i change myself to impress whoever happens to be next to me
but i'm sick of trying so hard
waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you
waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you

nothings here for me
nothings here for me
nothings here for me
but you

waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you
waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now
dont give up believe
i'd wait it out for you

i'd wait it out for you!
i'd wait it out for you!

Useless information

I hate Mondays. I have so much work to do but sit here and don't do shit. I sit here and read blogs of people exciting adventures than look at mine and what I got excited about and just laugh. I still say I sound pathetic but hey I've openly admitted that I am a "nice guy" and I guess that is part of my mental condition. I think I need to use my notebook more and just post on here when exciting stuff happens and random shit. It's weird how this thing became a public journal, not that it's all that bad since I have met some good people to keep me company and comment. Well with that out here's some useless crap that I feel like sharing yet again.

Malaysians protect their babies from disease by bathing them in beer.

It is illegal NOT to smile in Pocatello, Idaho.

Rats can tell the difference between two human languages.

It is now possible to print human skin with an inkjet printer!

Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.

Turkeys can reproduce without having sex.

Lightning travels from the ground upwards not from the sky downwards. (this one confuses me, what about the ones that stay in the clouds)

The only poisonous birds in the world are the three species of Pitohui.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Both Hitler and Napoleon were missing one testicle.

Women wishing to enter Canada to work as strippers must provide naked photos of themselves to qualify for a visa!

Baskin Robbins once made ketchup ice cream.

Great Sunday

Ok so last night I drank my usual that I do when I am home alone on the weekend. But I was pleasantly waken up at 11 by a phone call from CG. She asked if I want to go walk around DC since it was such an awesome day out. I said yeah of course. So we take the matro down and end up walking like 5 miles or so, my fucking knee is killing me. We had a great time though. When we got there we went and ate at Hard Rock Cafe. We walked around to all the memorials: White house, WWII, Vietnam, Korean, Lincoln, and Washington monument. My shoulders are burnt, it got so hot I took off my tshirt and wore my "wifebeater" tank top. My pasty white skin is now red fire, but I needed to get rid of my farmers tan. We get back and go to Quiznos for a bite for dinner. Get back to the barracks and invite her up but she says no that she needs to get back and feed her cats and study for her advancement board. I sit there and talk a bit and then finally leaned over and kissed her. It was great! When I got out and walked away I went to light up a cigarette and my hands were shaking. I know I am weird. Oh well at least I made one step foreward. We are supposed to go to Atlantic City, Ocean City, and the Inner Harbor this month sometime. It sucks though that I will be gone next month when she leaves. Joys of the military.

Time to get DRUNK!!

Ok so time with CG was pretty good. Of course I wussed out as always. I could tell the whole story here, but I have noticed since I have been getting into this site I haven't written in my notebook. I actually feel this shit I am feeling needs to go in there instead of on display for the world. Let's just say I am a wuss and suck. I am doing the same shit I did with CG's roommate when she was here. I have a very hard time with advancing on someone who was a friend first because it always turned into a problem. It gets screwed up and I lose everything. Eventually maybe I will come to realize that these "friends" are short term because we get transferred and leave. I hung out with her today and thought I'd try TG's kiss in the car when she dropped me off and when I looked over to her she did that look around thing. I don't know if it's the subconcience nervousness of her, or the "god please don't have him lean over and kiss me" thing. As usual I see these things that may be nothing and over analyze them in a split second and chicken out. Oh well. Here's some lyrics for you:

ACTION ACTION - "Eighth Grade Summer Romance"

Hold your knife against my throat, cut me deeper
Feel the blood drip down your arm, darling
I paint this picture on the back of my mind,
But it's fading quickly like an eighth-grade summer romance

The sleeping pills are mixing nicely with red wine
Catch them all, before panic hits monday
Trapped like rats, and oh the water is rising
We'd use the life boat, but we gnawed through the tubing

You're a drug, like the gun inside my mouth
I know it's wrong but i just can't spit you out
Happiness is a warm pun
And i love the taste of steel tonight
I know it happens for the rest of your life
Not asking, just doing darling

I know it happens for the rest of your life

I paint this picture on the back of my mind,
But it's fading quickly like an eighth-grade summer romance

I am pissed!!!!

I recently saw that Bob pitch some apparent English chap piece of shit provided a link to my "ME" blof through the following quote that is not on my site.

"it doesn't affrect me anymore when I get chased by police or fall through a window... I die as lonly as I came into the world" Loser. 03/06/05 17:05

That is fucked up, when I see that 4 people have already stumbled upon this site. Yes I have been arrested and fell kind of through a window but for fucks sakes, don't link it. I have left a reply to remove the link. I ask you all to sign up and do the same. Thank you in advance.

Friday night biatch

Well It's Friday, I didn't get my nap, like I usually take on Fridays before I go out but hopefully it will still be a good night. I have had my after work drinks and talked to CG and we are doin dinner and movie and perhaps drinks afterwards tomight. Hopefully things will go good. As usual she was flirty on the phone and said she may need another massage tonight (YES!). I should really probably take massaging lessons, like I said I have got nothing but compliments but it's a trade that is really nice to have, especially if I can get better at it. Unfortunatly it's rainy and cold, I told her to wear one of the outfits I helped her pick out a while back ago, they were really sexy. I am probably cheering up a little too much, considering I can pretty much guess what's going to happen tonight. But maybe I can work up some courage to perhaps try some of the advice that my awesome female readers have suggested, but more than likely I will be my loser self. Though I have been gaining some confidence and courage with her. Last time we hung out I was making some foreward progress from my usual shy self. I have already taken my shower and am supposed to call her around 7. So I have like 2 hours to kill listening to my awesome assortment of music. I guess I can get some Halo in, that will pass the time. I am more than likely going to end up posting a drunk blog tonight about what happened, if not be prepared for it tomorrow. TG, my phone will be on in case you want to go though it sounds like even if you go, I won't be invited (I understand). I hope your night goes good.

What to do when your dead

Armor for sleeps's comprehensive guide to your afterlife. (click for larger image)


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Music

I recently bought a couple Cds I thought I'd share. Once again no one will probably like it but this isn't my usual screaming stuff so some people may actually enjoy it. First I bought Action Action's "Don't cut your fabric to this year's fashion". This CD has some really great lyrics, the only thing I don't really care for is that they use a synthesizer too much. If they would replace it with a guitar in some part it would make this CD 10 times better. I still dig it though. The later part of the CD uses some more of the guitar, I am sure that if I could drive and listened to it a couple of times, I'd love it more.

Yesterday I bought Armor for Sleep's "What to do when your dead", this CD is really good and includes a little guide in the case, a guide of what what to when your dead. I forgot it at home today, I want to put some blurbs in here from it so I may do that later or tomorrow. It's kind of funny.

And Spitalfield's "Stop doing bad things", some good rock. I think all these bands are considered emo or something, to me it just rocks. I guess emo is the alternative of this generation. If it's not mainstream it's considered emo. I have only skimmed through these CD since I have bought them yesterday but I have enjoyed hearing them so far.

Last but not least is Sleater-Kinney's "The Woods", this album reminds me of a cross breed of Hole and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It is really good chick rock band.

Here's the Deal unfortunatley I missed Armor for Sleep when they were here in May, but the rest of these bands will be here this month. Spitalfield and Action Action is playing the Black Cat on the 17th and I just talked Uncle Tom into goin. Sleater-Kinney will be at 930 Club on the 25th and I will convince him to go to that too. Good times will be had, It's been to long since I've been to a concert, I am going through withdrawl!

ERG

Well I am starting to feel a little better. I realize that my current lifesyle needs to change before I die. Yesterday I ate a double quarter pounder meal for lunch at noon and saved 2 Mcchickens for dinner that I ate around 9. The rest of the time I was on a liquid diet. I can't eat healthy when I can't cook but I think I am going a little overboard. My digestion system is probably all jacked up, not to mention my constant dehydration, I don't take the time to fully rehydrate myself before starting again. I am taking 2 days off from drinking and going to try to eat some good food, well as good as it gets. My chest has been hurting, I don't know if it heartburn from drinking or my lungs from smoking more when I drink. This morning I felt like raw shit. Drinking water is still making me have an upset stomach but thats probably because there isn't much solid food in there to soak it up. It's almost lunch time, I may try to talk people into going out to get food so I don't have to suffer through my packaged noodle meal. So I drank and played Halo until like 11 last night, then I decided to blog and then noticed it was after 11, soul mate should be driving home from work, so I called her. She actually answered, we had one of those awkward conversations where you run out of things to say. I think she is hooking up with this one guy she used to be kind of close to. She said she was hiking with him and thats why she didn't return my phone calls from this weekend.

SO then I laid in bed drunk thinking of love lost. There have been 3 women that my life has revolved in a wierd and topsy turvey circle filled with bad choices. First I was with NY(new years girl) old friend that I always end up making out with, such as when I was home for new years. We ended because she was way younger than me, 3 years is a long time when your 16 or however old I was then. We remained good friends and then fell for SM(soul mate) While I was on hold waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend and having an affair with me, NY girl wanted me. We had our occasional fling and then got tired of waiting for SM and moved to my ex who I knew and saw wanted me. SM broke up with bf and then it was too late ex was pregnant and I was stuck. Ex wouldn't let me talk to either because of her jealous rage which was probably necessary because something would have happened because I wasn't happy with her. So now I was stuck with ex SM wanted me, NY moved away and then I joined the military. Now I am far away while they all live their lives and I sit here all alone reminising of loves lost. NY has a bf who is jealous of me and doesn't want her talking to me because he was there on New Years, SM is a single mom, who may have a bf and it just seems really awkward because I think she knows I still feel for her because I am alone and have nothing better to do while she is living. Who knows, I am just pathetic and will be that hermit guy when I am old telling my son these stories when he stops by to see me on holidays.