Busy Weekend

Tonight CG and I went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it was a cute movie. Angelina is so fuckin hot too. I wanted to see High Tension but they may have to wait for another day. We are going to Six Flags again tomorrow, my skin still hasn't stopped peeling from the last time we went and then Sunday we are going to Bmore aquarium. So TG if you aren't doing anything give me a call, we'll be in the area. I sit here with my first drink of the night for a Friday, I may have one more before I go to bed. I have been so tired lately. I took a 2 hour nap today. I left work around noon. CG is driving me insane, I really need to talk to her but of course I don't have the balls to. Like tonight after the movie she came up to my room we were watchin tv and she was starting to fall asleep, I moved a bit and she woke up and looked at her watch and said she had to go. Why don't she just stay here, she's coming back in the morning anyway. She said she has to study for her class, but I know damn well she isn't going to study tonight, she is going to go home and go to sleep. She has stayed here before and I have stayed at her place so it's not like it's the first time or anything. She is so damn confusing. My thought is still the same as before, she doesn't want to get too attached the same as I have been but it's unavoidable with as much as we've been hanging out. Even though I am not drunk I am just going to put most of this shit out there even though now isn't a good time since I may have a princess fucking reading this shit and throwing in her worthless fuckin opinion. Ok so now it's pretty much like CG and I are going out, we act like a couple.Hold hands when we walk and talk on the phone everyday, hang out everyday except Tues and Thurs when she has school. But things are less physical than once was. And it been bothering me. Like when I go to give her a kiss goodnight when she is leaving it is like before we kissed, I get a peck and go for more and she's doing the look away or talking thing. I keep trying to tell myself it's the NWTGA(not wantin to get attached)(needs to be abrev now). But I can never know when I don't ask. See this is why it has never worked for me to start to hook up with friends, I have tried all different ways and none of them work, of course they were all different women and perhaps I just did the wrong ways with the wrong women. Choices are as follows: Talk about it with her, Just go for it and hope she likes it and doesn't just do it to avoid conflict(it does happen), wait and hope she shows me a sign(they never come), or nothing and she will be gone soon. Nothing always leave me with regret(like with her roommate). I know it sounds like I am hung up on her a bit. Truth is I am really going to miss her when she leaves, thankfully I am not that attached and will probably get over it after a bottle thanks to friends who will understand that I am blowing them off for a good reason the same as they have done to me over women before (yeah you Spec, and Tom kind of). Live and learn as usual I have a week left. I am going to Ohio next weekend, I think from what they are saying that I have a formation on the 5th and actually deploy on the 6th so that may be my last night with CG, do or die and find some truth or just let it go as a good time. I will probably just let it go. Nothing more can come of this shit. What is she going to come back from Korea in a year or 2 and I am going to be single and run off and live happily ever after, yeah right. And if I ask her and get an answer that I don't want to hear my feelings may be hurt or whatever, thus forcing me further into a hole and out of the game. As the great Bart Simpson said "You're damned if you do, damned if you don't!"